May 07, 2005 11:57 PM by Joe Blackmon
Paula Abdul appeared on Saturday Night Live and poked fun of the recent American Idol scandal about her and Corey Clark in the opening segment. Paula announced the segment by saying that “all the facts have been changed to get laughs at my expense.” The segment opens as a follow-up to ABC’s PrimeTime Live “Fallen Ido”l special saying that “former American Idol contestant Corey Clark has remembered more details about his alleged relationship with American Idol judge Paula Abdul.” Corey Clark (who is played by Finesse Mitchell) opens up by saying “Yeah, me and her were like sexually active, yeah.” Corey then holds up a receipt that he says is from Carl’s Jr. where he bought a fish sandwich. He says he paid for the fish sandwich with cash given to him by Paula Abdul because he “didn’t have money for luxuries like that.”
Another part of the segment shows Paula Abdul (who is played by Amy Poehler) giving a critique of one of Corey’s performances saying “That was beautiful. You really blew me away. It’s just like I rolled over and said to you this morning. You have real star quality. I’ll see you at home.”
When asked why he is making these accusations now, Corey says, “I just wants to clear my name before my record comes out, and before my book comes out, and before I start selling these t-shirts.” Corey then holds up a t-shirt that says, “I did it with Paula Abdul.” Corey adds that the t-shirts will be on sale at Von’s and on his mama’s porch.
When Corey is asked if he thinks Paula slept with other contestants, he says his “mind is not smart enough to figure that out.” The segment then cuts to performances by Mario Vasquez, Justin Guarini, and Constantine Maroulis. Paula tells Mario that he needs to focus “on coming over to my hot tub and letting me rub your feet.” Paula tells Justin that he “is a tender and generous lover. Get in my car.” Paula then whispers to him, “I’m going to buy you a cell phone.” When Constantine is eliminated, Paula exclaims, “Why does everyone I care about leave me? Keanu Reeves, the Lakers, MC SkatKat. I can’t take it anymore.”
The real Paula Abdul then comes out clapping, and offers some three pieces of advice. Paula tells Chris Parnell who plays Simon Cowell that he “needs to wear a push-up t-shirt.” Paula tells Kenan Thompson who plays Randy Jackson that he needs “about fourteen more dogs.” Paula tells Amy Poehler who plays her that she needs to “perfect the clap a little more and be a lot more sexy so that contestants will be willing to sleep with you.”
On the Weekend Update segment of Saturday Night Live, another crack is made at Paula saying, “In a show of supports on Wednesday night’s program, five American Idol finalist presented Paula Abdul with two huge bouquets of flowers, and it worked she slept with all of them.”
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