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America’s Next Top Model – Grumble, Rumble Guess Who Stumbled

March 23, 2006 07:38 AM by Joe Blackmon

When girls say they want to be models, the first thing that comes to mind is runway modeling.  Little girls walk around the house pretending to be on a runway.  Now the little girls are all grown up and contestants on America’s Next Top Model.  However, no one told me that the girls were deformed. How does Tyra select so many girls with two left feet?  Read on,

This show was full of giggles but it could have been serious if the girls had broken their legs or ankles trying to walk the runway in high heels.  Miss diva J. Alexander is the best at showing the girls how to walk a runway.  Jay brings so much energy and attitude to the stage.  We could watch Jay all day but we can’t because we have to teach the left foot girls how to do the same onstage.

These girls were a joke.  There was no fire in the body movement.  The girls walked too slow, had no sense of how to walk to the music and most played it safe.  A contestant skipped down the runway and another walked as if she were a mannequin with a stick up her butt.  The walking was horrible.  Which supermodel have you ever seen skipping down a runway?  Ms. “rocked it” Furonda did not have the “wow” factor on stage either.

The second part of the walking class was to wear an evening gown with high heels.  If you thought the girls stumbled badly during their first try onstage, they topped it in the gowns.  Thank goodness, there was no facial bruising, broken kneecaps or sore buttocks.  No one fell on their butts, but they sure could wobble.  It was like watching a juggling act at the circus.

Later, the girls had to put their walking techniques to the test by modeling in clothes designed by Jared Gold.  Jared explained to the girls that designers would do anything to get in the press.  Jared holds up a huge ivory cup and inside were giant hissing Madagascar cockroaches.  “We will see how you handle outrageous things the fashion world throws out at you,” says Jared.  We now find out that Gina hates, with a capital “H” cockroaches.  Jade immediately uses this as a way to irritate Gina.  When it is Gina’s turn to work the runway in her Jared Gold original accessorized with a jeweled roach, she freaks out and starts screaming as if they asked her to eat it.  Jared had to push her on the runway.  To make matters worse, Gina trips at the end of the runway and makes a goofy face.  Ahhhh!  Jade did an excellent job on the runway and sealed the deal by kissing the roach during her runway pose.  Jared judging crew loved it. At the end of the event, Jade won the challenge. She received the superstar treatment by being invited to the Mercedes Benz Fashion Show front row with four girls of her choice.

Their next challenge was to pretend as if they were falling and look good doing it.  Hey, this is something the girls will ace, Right?  Tyra put a spin on the shoot by having the girls dress up as modern day fairytale characters.  Some of the girls would dress up like Cinderella, Goldilocks, Rapunzal and other characters.  The character chosen for Jade was Little Red Riding Hood.  Uh Oh, Jade’s face is not feeling Miss Red.  She did not complain this time and the shoot went very well.   Diva Danielle was an Oreo cookie, I mean Snow White.  “I am Snow Black,” laughs Danielle.  Her facial expressions and body angles were excellent.  While Gina was trying to nail her shoot as Sleeping Beauty, Jade took advantage of the moment and made faces at Gina to shake her confidence.  Ms. “rocked it” Furonda looked like two stiff sticks.  Nigel never has anything good to say about her photos.  “She looks like an insect,” comments Nigel.  The other girls did a good job but were not impressive.

Just when the girls thought that the elimination ceremony would be typical, Tyra throws in another twist.  She explains that designer Vivian Westwood fashion shows is best known for the models wearing very high, very uncomfortable platform shoes.  A very famous supermodel fell on her ass during a Westwood show.  Tyra shows the clip of Naomi falling in her enormous shoes.  Of course, Ms. Banks wants her amateur girls who barely mastered a runway walk in regular heels to walk in monster heels.  Get ready to see Tyra’s weebles wobble.  The first weeble to hit the stage was Kari.  Her shoes tipped over so many times that I swear her ankles must be made of rubber bands.  Jade wobbled, Nnenna wobbled, Mollie Sue fell when she stepped off the stage and poor Danielle wobbled, fell and had to crawl off the stage.  It was hilarious and scary at the same time.  We do not want anyone to be eliminated because of a broken ankle.  As is turned out, Danielle strained her baby toe and had to use crutches at the elimination ceremony.

In the end, Gina and Kari were the bottom two contestants.  The judging panel which consisted of  Twiggy, J. Alexander, Nigel Barker, Tyra and guest designer, Jared Gold, felt that Kari was too commercial and not runway material.  The judges felt that Gina is quiet and confused.  Ultimately, the judges chose Kari to go home.  What makes the bottom two funny is that Kari said she would not mind if Gina went home.  Did Kari jinx herself?  Hmmmm.

On Thursday, I will be interviewing Kari to see how she feels after being eliminated.  Will she continue to pursue a modeling career?  Check out our follow up interview here at Reality TV Magazine.

Belinda James is the editorial director Model Material Online, which caters to those seeking a career in modeling.  Visit me at www.Modelmaterialonline.com and tell me who you think should be the next to get the boot.

Reality TV Magazine is your source for America’s Next Top Model news.  For other great America’s Next Top Model news, please also check out SirLinksALot: America’s Next Top Model.

Topics: America's Next Top Model |

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