October 05, 2006 07:08 PM by Joe Blackmon
Tyra Banks has become the creative genius with a new show that combines America’s bloopers with fear factor stunts, sprinkled with surreal life drama. It’s called, America’s Next Top Model. Whoopi! This week Tyra’s Weebles try the most dangerous stunt of all,walking in high heel shoes. OOOOOh! AaaaaaH! True fashion professionals cannot enjoy wannabees making a mockery of the modeling industry. None of the girls can consistently walk a runway in heels without twisting their ankles. How can you say that you have always wanted to be a model and cannot walk in heels? Again I state that the only time these girls ever thought of being a model is when the auditions came to town. I will painfully take you through the recap for the rest of the show. Dalia is also painfully over the Tyra experience. Here we go,
The girls first stunt was learn about balance and posture all at once. Stunt coordinators taught the girls how to walk a tight rope. The Twins commented that they always had problems with their feet and walking a tight rope may be a problem. Um, Question? How can you have problems with your feet and choose a career that is based on walking. Duh. Others were in fear and said they could not do it. Folks, the girls where strapped to a harness and had spotters on each side. There is no way ANTM producers will let anything happen to their Weebles.
Back at the house Melrose was on the phone when Monique, of all people, starts banging on the door to let Melrose know she wants to use the phone. Can you believe her arrogance? Doesn’t she know that whatever energy she puts out there, will come back 100 times worse? Oh poor child, she shall feel the wrath by the end of the show. Monique claims to have first dibs on the phone. When Melrose gets off the phone, Monique bumps into her on purpose as she walks towards the phone. What is this,? The CW Real World Show. Then while everyone was asleep, Monique rubs her bikini bottom on Melrose’s bed. What are we watching,? Stupid Girls Gone Wild? Someone needs to take Monique’s ponytail and give her a good horse whipping.
The next day the girls were greeted by the best runway coach in the business, Ms. Jay. HeShee was dressed in a beautiful mini poof dress revealing his ostrich type legs. We love Ms. Jay. Isn’t that correct, Dalia. “Of course we love Jay; however, what we don’t love is Jay bringing out America’s Next ex Model, Bre from a previous season to show the girls how to walk. She can’t walk! I saw her in a video on BET. How did she become the expert? The girls were horrible. None of them could walk a straight line in heels”
Anyway, the girl who won for the best walk was AJ. She selected Megg and Caridee to share the prize which was to be in a charity fashion show for Dennis Quaid in Texas. Brooke was quite upset that AJ did not select her because Texas is her home town and she would have loved to go home for a visit. Oh, boo hoo, grow up, girl. You would have thought this was a military boot camp and she was sentenced to 10 years. If Brooke does not take the right photos, she will be home soon enough. When the girls arrived at the show, they were greeted by some of the other models from the previous seasons show. It was great to see some of our favorite girls finally doing something.
In the next scene we see Monique getting really sick. She got so sick that she needed to be taken to a hospital. Oh my goodness, I hope it isn’t anything serious or life threatening. The doctor said she was dehydrated. DEHYDRATED??? If she didn’t tie up the phone all day, maybe she would have had time to drink a glass of water. She was so sick that she had to muster up enough energy to make it to the next shoot. Oh my, should we feel sorry? Um, what’s the word I’m looking for…? NO. Why do the girls of ANTM get so sick on this show? The last two girls that were on their death beds, won. Could Monique be ANTM? Will little miss diva stay in bed or win? Well, when Mr. Jay gave her the option of fighting through the sickness and participating in the shoot or going home to nurse her illness to get well, little miss diva stayed true to her nature and opted to go back to bed. If this was a test, Miss M. failed with flying colors. If she would have done her homework and looked at cycle one when Adrienne fell ill and Danielle from cycle six was hospitalized, she would have known that a blessing was coming. Oh well, she needs to adjust her attitude before anything nice happens to her again. “I never been this sick before,” says Monique. Would someone tell Monique that it was pure evil dehydrating her body?
While Monique was nursing her dry body, the girls were having fabulous time at their next stunt challenge. They had to model across some sort of walkway in high heels over water that wobbles.
Dalia: “Oh heck no, Why would Tyra put them through this? This was not a realistic fashion show. Which designer would risk having a model fall on a booby trap runway over water and ruining his clothes? Caridee’s boob was exposed the entire walk. Do you think anyone was looking at the outfit? Didn’t Cari feel a cool breeze on her breast? Couldn’t you look at the dress and know that your boobs may fall out? Tyra is running out of ideas. She cannot come up with ideas for her talk show and ANTM. I’m lost. What is she trying to do? This is another lost episode. I want to see more shoots, runway and not girls fighting at the house. She needs to let one of her shows go and my vote is for the talk show; she’s horrible. It’s something about this cycle that’s just not clicking. If I forget to set my DVD for ANTM, I would not be mad. Tyra needs to bring back the past contestants who are working in the “real world” as Tyra keeps saying and let’s see a real modeling competition. I would like to hear Mr. or Ms. Jay say ‘Now this is a real competition.’ They cannot say that because the girls are weak.”
At the elimination ceremony, the girls were asked to balance a bowl with fruit on top of their heads. Jaeda and Eugena had no problem but, the others had cone heads. I bet Tyra went on a lot of go-sees where the designer asked that all models balance fruit on their heads. After the models performed their dog show tricks, they viewed the photos of themselves on a booby trap runway, keeping a controlled face while trying to stay balanced. In the end most of the girls did well. Eugena and Monique were in the bottom two this week. Tyra tongue whipped Eugena with her own words. (Remember when Eugena told the judges that all the girls on cycle six have nothing on her.) What a joke. Eugena has not come close to stepping up to the plate. On the other hand, Monique was so sick that she missed the challenge. Goodbye, little miss drama. Monique is the third girl to be eliminated. Her parting words were, “This entire experience was a waste of time.”
The first week I mentioned that the first eliminated contestant, Christian was a friend of a radio host on the Wendy Williams experience show. I could not think of his name nor did I feel like looking it up for the correct spelling. I called him “um, what’s his name”. Well didn’t I get an email from “um, what’s his name” with the correct spelling. Here’s a big shout out to Charlamagne Tha God, who sits next to Wendy on the Wendy Williams Experience radio show. Hey, maybe we can get him to tell us who he thinks will be America’s Next Top Model.
Written By Belinda Trotter-James and commentary by Dalia Jones - Visit my website later this week at www.modelmaterialonline.com to view some of the emails we are getting from our readers. Most of you think that the models are ugly this year and that some of the stunts, including the nude photos of the girls were ridiculous. Keep those emails coming. We love it! Send all emails to Modeldigest@aol.com