October 26, 2006 08:38 PM by Joe Blackmon
Whoopi! Jaeda did not make it in the bottom two this week. The girls are forced to romance a blast from the past while trying to look sexy and Tyra runs out of photographers. This and much more on All My Children,Oops,. Wrong show,.sorry. This and much more on America’s Next Top Model. Read on for all the juicy details,
Some say that Tyra is running out of ideas for her hit top model show and this week is no exception. Her list of photographers may have been depleted as she took on the role as the do-it-yo-self photographer in this episode. Do you think Tyra woke up this morning and said to herself, "Hmmm, this week I think I’ll be the photographer"? I’m sure it was nerve reckoning for the girls to perform in front of their icon, Tyra Banks. The girls had to insert weird looking contact lenses into their eyes to appear demonic and scary. Most of the girls did really well because they had the makeup to hide behind. "I don’t like looking icky. I’m always called the pretty girl", says Jaeda. Who in their right mind wants to look icky? It’s only for a shoot, Jaeda. Didn’t she ever play pretend in her younger days? Sheesh!
This week’s lesson was on the fundamentals of being sexy. Tyra’s spotlight guest this week was a drag queen and a burlesque dancer who would teach the girls how to tap into their inner sexuality. Oh brother, most of these girls are inexperienced babies. First Tyra has them posing nude in the first show, now they are dancing like strippers and the next step I guess is sliding down a pole. No daddy wants to see their daughter on the pole. After their sexy lesson, the girls shared their thoughts; which they should have kept to themselves. "It’s just a weird feeling", begins Michelle. "I’m used to being a tom boy." Yes, Michelle, we get it that you are more comfortable with your masculine side. If you thought that was bad, Jaeda said, "Long, Luscious hair is what I want. I loved my long hair. I always had long hair. I don’t feel like a woman with short hair. I, I,I" She sounds like Jade from last season who also wanted long, luscious hair. Get a weave and call it a day.
In the next challenge the girls met Cathy Gould, the Director for Elite Model Management. She invited the girls to a private dinner party to be the entertainment. Oh No She Didn’t! The Entertainment?! The girls would show all their sexy moves on the dining room table which will also serve as their runway. This will be the same table where the guests will be dining. This is the kind of stunt nasty old men at the lodge would try to pull off. Looking up at a girl’s crotch while eating is just plain old nasty. You never know if someone’s nerves will get the best of them and something drops out or down in this case. Tyra’s crew has lost their minds. Can you picture Amanda and Michelle trying to walk on a dining room table while you’re trying to eat your dinner? Yuck! The girls cannot walk in heels on the floor and they want to put them on a table?! Eugena tried too hard to entertain the guests, Brooke did not know what she was doing and Jaeda was a big old train wreck. The winner of this challenge who was confident, natural and had perfect timing was Melrose. She was allowed to share her prize of a photo spread in Seventeen magazine with three friends. She chose the twins and Brooke and they did an excellent job at the photo shoot.
Back at the house Anchal confided in Caridee that her confidence was totally rocked because one of the guests said she did not have a model figure and that she would have to work on her body. Whatever Caridee said was the very thing Anchal needed to hear to get her spirit up and running again. See, this is why we have an epidemic of bulimia and anorexia because of idiot comments like that towards impressionable young girls. Does Anchal really have to be a skinny runway model when there are many other avenues she can pursue? Would someone give her a clue, please?
The next day Mr. Jay shows up to explain the theme of their next shoot. "Girls", yells Jay, "you will have to know where to draw the line between sexy and sleazy by posing for a cover of a romance novel." The girls were all excited to see which handsome young hunk would be posing with them in the photo. Guess who was waiting in the garden but the one and only, king of the romance cover novels… Fabio. I am speechless, Again, these are young girls who may not know nothing about having a big, strong, handsome man touching their young bodies. Michelle was clearly uncomfortable lying in bed with Fabio. "Being in bed with a man and a baby is different for me", explained Michelle for her uncomfortable behavior. Jaeda could not stand the thought of Fabio breathing down her neck. "Eeeek", she cringed. Eugena was awful as usual and Brooke had the easiest story line and could not pull it off. All she had to do was hold onto Fabio’s leg and pretend she was upset he was leaving her forever. "I’m nervous. Who wouldn’t be", started Brooke, "I’m being forced into adulthood." Goodness grief,. Where do they find these wannabees? It’s pretend play for an hour. Sheesh!
At the elimination ceremony there were mixed reviews from the judges on the girls’ performances. They felt that Anchal is too pretty and does not have the body to be a model. Oh goodness, I hope Anchal does not become an anorexic, plastic surgery victim. Eugena nailed her scary photo by accident and did terrible with the romance shoot. Jaeda’s scary shot was great but she did not do so well with Fabio because she could not get passed him breathing on her. Brooke did not do so well however, Melrose and Caridee seems to enjoy every moment with Fabio. Melrose’s shoot went so well that Fabio said he could not believe he gets paid to do this. Ooh La La. In the end Eugena and Brooke were in the bottom two this week and Brooke was sent home. Brooke found it ironic that she got sent home on her graduation day. "I did not see this coming," cried Brooke. "I gave everything up to be here. I experienced a lot and I’m not going back a high school senior, I’m going back as an adult." I did not see this coming either, Brooke. For weeks Eugena has given us expressionless photos? Eugena should have gone home tonight. Tyra reminded Brooke of the many girls that would love to have had the chance to compete on the show. I’m sure our correspondent Dalia has a few choice words on this show, Take it away, Dalia,
First of all, Jaeda needs to get over the short hair thing, leave the show and get a weave,end of sentence. She is getting on my first and last nerve. Second, you cannot make someone sexy. You must have "it" naturally. In the case of Destiny’s Child, Beyonce is sexy; Kelly does not have "it" and Michelle is not even on the map. Caridee is a stripper in disguise and Melrose is too eager and would do very well at being an entertainment reporter. She knows how to work a room but I don’t see her as a model. Excuse me but, where did they dig up Fabio? Shouldn’t he be on the Surreal Life? I’m done.
Ms. D you are so crazy, However, the fact is that Brooke is the sixth contestant to lose a chance at becoming America’s Next Top Model. Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with Brooke to find out if she really regrets missing her high school graduation and what she plans to do after the show.
Written by Belinda James with commentary by Dalia Jones – Email me with your questions for Brooke at firstname.lastname@example.org.