January 17, 2007 10:28 PM by Joe Reality
Simon Cowell had warned that Seattle was the worst audition city, and he doesn’t appear to have been kidding. Most of the Seattle auditions show was filled with one contestant after another getting rejected. The Seattle auditions also provided some of the most obstinate contestants when it came to talking back to Simon Cowell.
Brandon Groves, the police officer who sang "I Shot The Sheriff" last season, returned wearing an Uncle Sam outfit. He was no better this season than last season, and the judges quickly turned him way. Brandon blamed his rejection on nerves.
Jennifer Chapton walked in chewing gum, and Simon Cowell advised her to stick it on Taylor’s face or something (referring to the background which features previous Idol contestants). Simon Cowell told Jennifer that it was a horrible audition, which led to an argument between the two. Jennifer insisted on singing another song, despite the protest of the judges. Simon Cowell told her to get a job down in the Port.
Amy Salgado tried to sing Christine Aguilara’s “Reflection,” but she warned the judges that she had a cold. Simon Cowell asked her what she sounded like she when she was well and said he thought that it was more than a cold. Amy tried drinking some water, but Cowell said the water made her sound even worse.
Darwin Reedy told the judges that she had written a novella about a singing competition and there was a character inspired by Simon. Randy Jackson told Darwin to invite her mom in. Darwin sang “Dontcha” by the Pussycat Dolls. Simon Cowell said it was appalling. Darwin’s mom said she was just nervous and should have sung “Sweet Home Alabama” to warm up.
Thomas Daniels, who just quit his job as a gas attendant, sang Amos Lee’s “Arms of a Woman.” It was Thomas’ third time auditioning for Idol, and the third time proved to be the charm. All three judges gave him a “yes,” and Thomas was the first one in Seattle through to Hollywood.
Melissa Stavros wore some type of red fishnet arm and leg stockings to the audition, and Simon Cowell told her that she looked sunburned. Melissa sang Christina Aguilera’s “I Turn To You,” but the judges turned her away. After Melissa left, Simon said “What was that net she was wearing?”
Blake Lewis did some beatboxing and then sang Seal’s Crazy. Simon Cowell said Blake was good, but maybe not as good as he thought he was. However, all three judges put him through to the next round. Michael Bustamante and David Mills auditioned but met with quick rejection.
Shyamali Malakar sang Summertime. Paula Abdul said she was very nervous, but didn’t need to be. Simon Cowell wasn’t impressed, but both Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul said “yes.” Her brother Sanjaya Malakar sang Stevie Wonder’s “Sign, Sealed, Delivered.” Simon Cowell said he was a lot better than his sister. All three judges agreed on putting Sanjaya through to Hollywood.
Nicholas Zitzmann sang the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody.” After a screeching, off-key performance, Simon Cowell said “What the bloody hell was that?” Cowell also added, “One of the worst I’ve ever heard. It was almost non-human.”
Rudy Cardenas sang Journey’s “Open Arms.” Simon Cowell said “no,” but Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson put him through to Hollywood.
Kenneth Briggs told Simon Cowell that he could make it to the final two in the competition and win it and make him drop his mouth in shock. After Kenneth sang “I can’t take it anymore,” Simon Cowell interrupted and said “Neither can I.” Simon Cowell added “You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes. What are they called? Bush baby.”
Jonathan Jayne said he thought he could win because he was different and had an amazing personality. Simon Cowell said “You’re a nice guy, I like you, but this is not the career path for you.”
Eric Chapman, who bore a resemblance to Taylor Hicks, sang Dobie Gray’s “Drift Away.” Simon Cowell asked Eric if he was drunk.
Anna Kearns, who is 6’4″ tall, sang Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.” When Simon Cowell started talking, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson growled at him. Simon refused to continue, but Randy and Paula put Anna through to Hollywood. After Anna left, Simon quipped, “You just put through a giraffe.”
Jordin Sparks, who is the daughter of New York Giants’ Phillipe Sparks, sang Celine Dion’s “Because You Loved Me.” Paula Abdul said she loved her voice. Simon Cowell said it was a little bit too sugary for his taste. However, all three judges put Jordin through to Hollywood.
The most unusual audition was perhaps the last one. Steven “Red” Thoen admitted he wasn’t a big fan of American Idol and gave strange looks into the camera. Steven “Red” Thoen sang Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Simon Cowell said it was possible the weirdest audition he had ever heard in his life and compared it to a one year old singing.