March 01, 2007 06:15 PM by Joe Reality
Written By Belinda James and commentary by Dalia Jones. We’re back and loving every moment of the international flavor Tyra
tried to mix in this cycle. Different versions of Top Model has been
created all around the world. However, I am so sick ‘n tired of seeing
Tyra’s "diamonds in the rough". After eight cycles we deserve to see
some real diamonds. The question I always have each year is… "Who
is the casting agent? She/he should be horsewhipped, again."
When I modeled, the girls were fierce, ferocious and fabulous. It was like watching great prize fighters duke it out on the cat walk just like Naomi and Tyra did back in the day. These girls are tired, self centered and needy. They cannot follow direction and know nothing about the mechanics of modeling. I know for a fact that the girls go through several layers of screening. Since this is true, how did Jael get through? Can you tell that her mind runs faster than her lips can get the words out into the air?… Or, is it just me. We need some mature stallions instead of the dead meat Tyra’s been throwing at us season after dreadful season. For those who don’t take this show seriously, it’s very entertaining. However, for folks who do this for a living, it’s like watching someone drag their nails across a chalkboard. Aaaaahhhhh!
Folks,. Welcome to cycle 8 of Top Model Boot Camp. In the first scene our favorite coaches, Mr. and Ms. Jay make their grand entrance riding in an Army jeep to announce that boot camp was open for business. The girls had 30 seconds to get into their boot camp gear complete with high heel army boots. The girls were tested on their knowledge of designers and photographers to marching in their high heel boots. Just when the girls thought they could take a break, Tyra stomps across the road performing a step routine with a men’s Greek fraternity and, excuse me,. I think Dalia has something to say,.
Dalia: "Why is Tyra steppin’ with SIGMA? If you know anything about the Greek fraternities, steppin’ with men is a big no-no. Pledging is no joke and a lifetime commitment. She should not be steppin’ with men AT ALL. The next time she feels like steppin’, she should call sororities such as AKA’S, ZETA or the DELTA’s. If she did not know that, she should have asked her casting staff. Oh, forget it; casting is having enough trouble selecting 13 diamonds."
You do have a point, Dalia and I really did not want to start counting the flaws in the show but since you started with flaw #1, let’s talk about flaw #2 and #3, the cry baby segments. Thank goodness this year we did not have to hear someone’s entire sob story. The Russian girl tried to shed tears and get a little sympathy when she mentioned she married a 40 year old man at age18. "He brought me over to this country," sobbed the Russian. (I’ll call her that for now until you learn their names. Remember, we are stuck together for the next 12 weeks, so keep up.) The other crying contestant was Jael, the 22 year old with the punk, bleached blonde hair. I think she was just happy they made a mistake and selected her to be on the show.
Flaw #4, Who cast tattoo girl. She had massive tattoos on each arm, one on her backside and who knows where else. Did casting stick her in to be the side show because there is no way a designer would put an elegant gown over tattoos. Could you believe the girl who had diarrhea of the mouth? She wouldn’t shut up. And if I hear one more girl crying because she left her baby and husband at home to pursue this opportunity, I am going to SCREEEEEEM. Stay home if you miss your family. Try modeling in your next life.
Dalia: The girls should keep quiet when it comes to telling Tyra, the judges or the girls about their private lives especially if there are husbands and kids involved. People will start to think you are not there for the right reasons. Girls need to decide early in life if they want to travel the world as a model or stay at home and be a mommy/housewife. You cannot do both as a rookie."
Anyway, it’s time to cut the girls down from 33 to 20. Only the girls with a gift bag invitation to an exclusive party with Marc Ecko would go to the next round. Of course there were tears of joy and broken dream tears for those who did not get a bag. "This is bull," screamed one contestant who was not chosen. I cannot understand why someone would want to be a sore loser on national television. This is a competition and someone has to go home. Just be glad you received your 15 minutes of fame,Sheesh!
At the party a photographer took photos of the girls. (It was another test to see how well they photograph. The next cut will be directly related to how well they can pose for the camera.) The next cut is always the hardest for Tyra because out of 20 she must select 13. For the first time in Top Model history two full figured models are in the top 13. Whoopi! Now the competition will not be lopsided. We have two full figures on both ends.
Dalia: "Excuse me but I have a problem with Tyra talking out of both sides of her neck. On her talk show she has women wearing their weight size on their breast and on Top Model she is helping to keep the stereotype alive by promoting skinny models. I’m done."
Listen, every industry needs a particular body type. Basketball players need to be a certain height, a jockey needs to be a particular weight to ride a horse and designers don’t want to use a lot of fabric for a sample size dress. Anyway,It is,. what it is,
The girl’s first photo shoot focused on various political views. Some girls had to portray anti-this or pro-that. I hate to tell you that this is going to be a long wannabe season. Diana (the full figure) did not commit to her character. Brittney was freaked out by wearing an animal head on her shoulders. Sarah had nothing going on in the eyes, (she is supposed to be the one with all the experience.) Natasha (the short Russian girl who thinks she is going to win) had no clue on how to work the props, camera or get direction from the photographer. "I don’t want to be political. I just want to stand here and be pretty," says the Russian wannabee. WHAAAAT?! Is she serious about being a model? Sheesh! Jael was not feeling well and used that as an excuse for her poor performance. However, seconds later she was playing with a hula hoop. The top prize for nit wit at a shoot goes to Kathleen who did not understand how to be anti-fur after Nigel, the photographer explained it to her several times. Forget about the phrase dumb blonde, we’ll just call her, DUH. There were no standouts again. Even Tyra announced to the girls that the shoot was disappointing across the board. We will be guessing all season long who will win. Where are the real girls who can walk, talk, apply makeup and don’t cry about missing family members? Forget horsewhipping the casting staff,. Where was Ms. Executive Director Banks during the initial casting?
After the shoot the girls were whisked away to their new home for the next 12 weeks in their pimped-out limo. This year the house was decorated with photos of all the past winners except,.Adrianne,. Top Model’s first winner. Maybe we should give the show the benefit of the doubt and guess that her photo is in the house but not seen on camera. Note to readers: Tyra Banks was said to be mad at Adrienne and does not want her to be associated with the show anymore. If this is true Tyra better get over it and move on.
Dalia: "Speaking of winners, Why was Danielle, winner from cycle 6 in a CoverGirl commercial with cycle seven’s winner Caridee? Every winner had their own commercial. Would someone please explain why sharing the spotlight was necessary? Danielle had an entire year of doing nothing. Your time is up,. NEXT!"
Hmmm. It looks like we have show flaw number five and six. Anyway,.
In the last challenge of the show the girls found themselves in a Goodwill store. They were challenged to find an outfit in three minutes and model in a Goodwill charity fashion show. The girl who receives the most bids on her outfit wins. Jael ended up being the winner and was afraid the girls would turn against her for winning. Oh brother, it’s a competition, get over it and enjoy your win.
At the first elimination ceremony, Kathleen and Jael were in the bottom two spots. Tyra explains, "Kathleen is a bright spirit with no clue and Jael has a great personality but is afraid to succeed because she wants to be liked." Ultimately, it is Kathleen who goes home. Kathleen was so shocked to be the first to be eliminated that she was speechless. In this case you definitely don’t want to be first; last place gets the prize.
By Belinda James and commentary by Dalia Jones – Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.warmspirit.org/beautybyreferral and let me know what you want to ask the eliminated contestants. Your questions will be posted on our site. I am definitely going to ask Kathleen if she is taking classes on "How to get a clue." See you next week when we will find out who will be the next contestant to lose a chance at becoming America’s Next Top Model.