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Project Runway: Tiki Barber’s Desire to Cover His Gluteus Maximus

November 29, 2007 12:45 PM by Joe Reality

By DA Southern

The Project started by a quick look at last week’s design for Sarah Jessica Parker’s BITTEN Clothing Line that the designers did with a whopping fifteen dollars. Victorya was the winning designer and would have her piece sold by Bitten and that designer Marion was “Ouwt”.

We opened with the designers prepping for the next challenge with HIV designer, Jack talking about his HIV experience and the oh-so-smug Christian taken off of his pedestal a bit since being on the chopping block last week, although he was still more confident than many of the other designers seemed to be.

The designers left for the meet-and-greet with Heidi and she looked fabulous,as usual, as she told them that for a first for Project Runway, that they would not need any models for this challenge, which sent waves of shock through the souls of the designers. OK, a bit dramatic, but this IS Project Runway, ya know.

Heidi sent the designers on a field trip to 30 Rock…Rockefeller Plaza to meet Tim and special guest and found no other than former NY Giants running-back, and now commentator for the Today Show, Tiki Barber, standing with Tim. Tim welcomed them and announced that Tiki would give them their challenge. Tiki announced that they would be designing an outfit for him that he would actually wear on the Today Show.

If there was ever a deer-in-the-headlight-look it was this moment as most of the designers have never even thought about designing for men, which most of them admitted in their personal camera moments.

Tiki explained that, since he was an athlete, he had severe measurements, one being a larger-than-most gluteus maximus that needed to be covered. Tiki went on to explain that he was not afraid of color and that he loved pattern and depth in his clothes. The designers smiled and headed back to Parsons to sketch and get ready for the buying trip, which Tim had told the they were going to be allotted $150.00 each. Tim concluded by telling the designers that this was a classic “Make It Work” moment and that they needed to get to it.

You could see most of the designers just looking at their sketch pads not really knowing where to begin. Kit seemed confident because she was a stylish and had worked with men’s designs in her career. Tim took the designers shopping and you could tell that most did not have a clue how to buy for men’s fashion, as it would clearly be the case later in the show.

Back at Parsons, Tim announced that they had until midnight and all day tomorrow to put together the design. The designers sprung into action and most seem to flail around because most had never patterned men’s suit coats. Christian once again announced his expertise as a sewer and his confidence was again bolstered to his pre-almost-being-cut moment. Carmen was really struggling and Jack pitched in to give her a hand. Jack got very creative by actually taking his own shorts off and tearing them apart to make a pattern that he did share with Sweet P and Carmen to help them out. Jack said that he checked the rules and there was nothing in the rules that he could not do it. When he heard other designers talking, he just said that “Some people just like to bitch!” Tim finally came in and told them that time was up and that they still had tomorrow.

Day 2 found the designers already looking tired before the day started. They trekked to Parsons where Tim told them they had 15 hours, which in designer years is no time at all. Kit was concerned about the time constraints and Christian once again told everyone how fast a sewer he was. Chris announced that he had actually sewn his own pants when he was five, pushing his mother away to do so.

With around ten hours to go, Tim announced that the models would be in for a fitting and most of the designers did not give it a thought until the hunky boys walked in, sending all of the designers into a frenzy, except Kevin, the only straight designer in the bunch. Steven said he finally understood the feeling when guys saw a bunch of girls in their underwear. Our esoteric designer, Elisa, refused to look at her model as she only choose to touch her boyfriend.

Tim was in to assess the designers progress and had a special guest, Tiki Barber’s wife, Ginny. With about 7 hours left for the day and he seemed genuinely concerned that the designers were not progressing as he and Ginny looked at the progress. He especially seemed concerned with Carmen and Ricki’s design. Ricki was so upset, that he put the zipper in the pants upside down which sent a flurry of bleeped sounds emanating from him towards Carmen…at least I think the beeps were from him.

The Day of the Runway Show had most of the designers scrambling for the last minute fixes to try to salvage their designs. Jack decided to forget a third piece, opting for quality rather than quantity. Carmen and Sweet P were virtually being scolded by Tim Gunn that they were to be at the runway as time for the show approached.

The show started with Heidi announcing Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and Tiki Barber as judges and the show began. The designers order was;

Jillian, who was satisfied overall,
Carmen, who was ashamed of her design,
Christian, who thought his design was the most interesting
Kit, confident in her finish work,
Rami, saw his design as less formal,
Sweet P, who thought it was the worst thing she had ever designed,
Steve, who saw his as more conservative,
Victorya, who was unhappy with hers,
Kevin, happy with it as cool mensware,
Chris, who was satisfied that it was the look he wanted,
Jack, who thought it looked “store bought”,
Ricky, who thought his design a disaster,
and finally, Elisa, who thought it looked clean and finished looking.

Heidi announced the scoring and said that Jillian, Christian, Rami, Steven, Victorya, Chris and Elisa were safe, leaving Carmen, Kit, Sweet P, Kevin, Jack and Ricky. After the model came out and the judges picked the highs and lows of the outfits, Heidi sent them into the waiting area.

After the hour of deliberation that is condensed into about forty-five seconds, the judges were high on Jack and Kit and sad about Carmen, Sweet P and Ricki’s design. Heidi called them out and announced that Jack was the winner and finally announced that Carmen was “Ouwt”.

I though that as awful as Carmen’s design was executed, it was really funny to see her say that she was going out with her integrity in tact, but they always say that now don’t they.

Topics: Project Runway |

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