January 22, 2008 11:27 PM by DA Southern
Just when we thought we had seen it all, Bravo has managed to give us another fascinating look at the rich and not-so-famous in The Millionaire Matchmaker. We follow Patti Stanger, founder of a Los Angeles based elite matchmaking service, as she helps wealthy men find the women of their dreams and looks to keep her own personal life on track as well.
Tonight’s episode not only introduces us to Patti and her staff of spit-fires who do their best to find the perfect girls for our hapless guys, it also gives us a glimpse of how she sets the guidelines for our millionaires. Tonight we have a look at Dave and Harold as they struggle with their search for love and dealing with the guidelines that Patti sets for them.
During our introduction we understand the essence of what Patti’s agency is all about. Patti makes it clear that she is not an escort service and one of the rules that she establishes up front with the bachelors is that there is NO sex until the relationship is committed on both ends.
Patti tells us that she is responsible for over 300 marriages and 400 to 500 committed relationships, which she is proud of, and says that helping people to hook up is addicting. Patti then precedes to tell the kind of girls that she looks for and stresses that she looks for girls that are good looking and have beauty, brains and class. Patti even says that she would take a chubby girl with a great face and hoped that a “Chubby Chaser” would come in and she would have the perfect girl for him.
The office looked like a beehive of activity with VP Chelsea, Director of Business Development, Alison and the Office Manager, Destin. These characters, yes, they are indeed characters in their own right, will be more showcased in future episodes, but we were only shown how they were not fulfilling the needs of Patti in this episode. No, not in that way. My goodness, where is your mind.
Patti’s first meeting was with Millionaire Dave, otherwise known as “Sex Toy, Dave” because he is a sex toy distributor and has a stripper pole in his house. Dave has an opportunity to meet a lot of party girls but none that he can “take home to mom” as he put it. Dave’s main goal is to have fun and have a relationship that fits into that mold. Patti was concerned that he was not serious about having a relationship and needed to clean up his act. In a hilarious moment, Patti said that one of her rules was that there would be no sex unless there was a committed relationship which had Dave’s face literally fall as he said, “oh…” When Patti asked him his dream girl all he could come up with was Paris Hilton. I believe we can all see where this is going.
Patti was then off to meet older Millionaire Harold who thought that he had a penchant for the young girls but he was not the type who could attract a young girl. He was not a “hipster” at all. Harold was more refined and Patti did notice that Harold seemed to have more of a tendency to settle down, but felt he might not be realistic in his type of girl. When Patti asked him about his dream girl, Harold responded “a younger Cindy Crawford” which had Patti responding that she was pretty hot. He wishes he had Cindy Crawford! Ultimately, Patti was going to let him fail with a younger girl so he would end up with a girl closer to his age.
We were in the “open call” for the girls for the millionaires and Patti and the staff are pretty brutal when they are narrowing down the choices for the bachelors. Patti was seen asking some pretty brutal questions of the girls and was quite disturbed that a majority of them had no education. After the girls were gone, Patti laid into her staff for bringing her “so much crap” and that they needed to step up and find some quality girls for Harold and Dave’s mini-affair that Patti always started the Millionaires with. The staff was seen pulling what looked to be an all-nighter looking for Ms. Goodbar to please Patti and Harold and Dave.
The mini-affair was arranged at the race track where Patti likes to have her thoroughbreds ready for the meet-and-greet and Dave and Harold were going to compete for the girl’s attention. Dave and Harold, after shaking hands, greeted the girls who were lined up for their arrival. Patti said that Dave was more of a hunter who stalked his prey and Harold was more of a gatherer and considerably more cautious as he wandered around talking to the girls. You could tell that Harold was indeed uncomfortable and Dave was more of a party guy. Dave could not keep the sex toy talk out of the conversation but each of the guys finally narrowed down their choices to three girls. After they each talked more in depth with their choices, they each chose a girl for a date. Dave chose Sarah, who he thought he could have fun with and Harold chose a younger girl, Brooke, who drew him in with her blue eyes. Of course each girl accepted the dates and we were off to the races…sorry, I could not resist.
Date Day for the boys and girls had Harold picking up Brooke and immediately you could tell the age difference was apparent when Brooke asked what bands he liked and Harold said Bruce Springsteen and Brooke said, Lincoln Park for her, which had Harold saying, “What?” Harold took Brooke on a yacht for their date and you could sense that Brooke was not relating with Harold at all.
Dave was seen having a fairly good meal with Sarah and it looked as they were hitting it off. Dave’s next part of the date was to take Sarah to his house for the ultimate test; to see if Brooke was put off by the stripper pole in the middle of his house. Sarah seemed to be OK with it and Dave dragged out all of the rubber sex toys he had laying around for her to see. Insert your own joke here. Sarah seemed to be fine with it all even though she said she was fairly conservative and it looked as though the date had promise for the couple, even though she had no desire to try out the pole.
One week later Patti checks in on the Millionaires and finds that Dave totally blew it with Sarah by not inviting her to a pool party. She evidently pushed too hard for Dave’s taste leaving Patti completely frustrated with his expectations. She told Dave that he would be a constant party guy but would be the guy in the nursing home chasing nurses because he would have no one to love. Harsh but probably true for Dave.
When Patti met Harold, she knew that Harold had age differences with Brooke and he had called Brooke for a second date, but she had not returned his call. Patti knew that Harold had very difficult expectations and feared that he was trying to choose a girl like he was choosing a car off of the car lot.
Neither Millionaire had initial success with Patti but Harold had seen other girls from Patti’s agency, but to date, no success.
Hang on with RealityTVMagazine.com for what will be a wild ride with The Millionaire Matchmaker in the coming weeks as we learn more about Patti and her quirky office crew as they charge a bunch of money to get love-starved guys a hug and a kiss.
Photo Courtesy of Bravo TV