June 24, 2008 08:54 PM by DA Southern
America’s Got Talent was off to a rousing start with some truly incredible talent, including the insurance salesman, Neal E Boyd, the opera singer who had the audience, and the judges, on their feet in the closing segment of last week’s show. And, oh yes, we love the bad stuff too. We should all just admit it and be done with it. We can only hope this week’s auditions will herald us some more to feast our senses on as we continue on that road to Vegas in this week’s rounds of auditions on the hit NBC show, America’s Got Talent.
Host, Jerry Springer, started us off by announcing that the AGT crew was in LA for the next round to find America’s next great talent. The judges, Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and David Hasselhoff were seated and the carnage was now set to begin. As usual, a kooky act, The Singing Fairy, started the festivities off with a bang,OK, more like a whimper as she was summarily booed off the stage.
Many more bad acts were showcased to the Michael Jackson tune of, “Beat It,” until we finally had a decent act in Eli Mattson, an impressive young man who played his way across the country to follow his dream to audition for AGT. He impressed everyone and easily won the hearts of the judges and easily got his ticket to Vegas. The judges even reflected on young Mattson’s talent on a break saying that he could definitely be in the finals.
Jerry again panned the talent to see who had that special ability to impress the judges to move on to Vegas. A blue-haired girl, Miss Pussykatt, did a fabulous grinding act that, if nothing else, was very unique. The Hoff and Piers were enchanted by Miss Pussykatt and Sharon was yelling in shock, not really knowing what to think. The judges were unanimous in their decision as they sent the Pussykatt purring to Vegas with one of the most creative acts to date on AGT.
Another sad story from a duo, Lil Countrie and Page 1NE, street performers from New Orleans, graced the stage for their shot at stardom. The Hoff said that they were the best tumblers that have ever graced the AGT stage and Piers even said that they were one of the best acts yet as the LA auditions came to a close and the judges were seen winging away in their private jet to the next city in the cross country trek for the next great talent.
Jerry announced that the team was back in the Big Apple and the judges were encouraged that the next AGT winner may come from New York. Another crazy act, a limo driver calling himself, Drumtazia, a flaming, bizarre drummer, was summarily dismissed and the New York auditions were off to a grand start,Well, not so grand, but interesting.
Crazy acts were rehearsing as many were seen extolling the virtues of how a Vegas act would change their lives and their fortunes. A boy band of brothers calling themselves, Next II None, performed an ‘N Sync tune, “Bye, Bye, Bye,” and did it rather well in the process. They didn’t get buzzed off the stage and got the wholehearted approval of the judges and left with their golden ticket to Sin City.
A Russian act, The Russian Bar Trio, did a death-defying act, at least that is what Jerry Springer told us, with long sticks of some kind. It was a little freaky but the Russians did manage to thrill the audience with their general “Flipping on a long stick” routine.
In a funny bit, The Hoff and Piers were trying to outdo each other as to who was more popular until the lovely Sharon Osbourne graced the stage and we watched an Ozzie Osbourne impersonator preparing to dazzle the judges. Really all you can say is, “Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!” Sharon was the first to buzz him off as his ill-fated career was quickly dashed on the rocks. Piers did mess with Sharon a bit and said “Yes” to the Ozzman to go forward which elicited a smack from Sharon, but he knew that he would not be put through by the other two.
A talented family of musicians, The Taubl Family, who was as large as the Von Trapp family from the Sound of Music, played a song from the beloved musical, as well. Piers buzzed the family off before the family started to sing, maybe a bit too hasty. The audience warmed up to them and The Hoff and Sharon voted them through and Piers then admitted that he buzzed them in error and the family was off to Vegas.
Jerry Springer announced that the New York auditions were drawing to a close, but we knew that a few more untalented folks were headed our way as were a few talented ones mixed in. A group of cowboys from Washington, DC were next on the big stage as they proudly proclaimed themselves the, DC Cowboy Dance Company. Well, the self-proclaimed, “Brokeback meets Broadway,” did mange to rile up the audience and even cynic, Piers Morgan, managed to perk up and give the boys a pass to Vegas.
The next stop on our whirlwind tour was in the Windy City, Chicago. The Midwest can be a quirky place to be sure, so we would definitely be surprised. Another crazy act, brick breaker, Kevin “Big K” Taylor, would try not to burn himself or the auditorium down to the ground as he breaks flaming bricks. That is all Chicago needs,another big fire. After the act got going, we realized that one of the two did indeed happen; his hands did actually catch on fire. The act was good enough with two of the three judges, with Sharon saying “No,” to be put through to Vegas.
Singer, Chellena, a Real Estate agent who had fought back cervical cancer, was showcased with her supportive husband as she prepared to sing before the judges and to reach her goal of stardom. Chellena sang acapella good enough to get a trip to Vegas, even though Piers was reluctant because they had better singers that had been through already. In the end, it was her spirit that got her to the next round proclaimed Morgan.
A magician, Johnny O, finally hit the stage with a very bad magical act that had Piers hitting his buzzer as soon as Johnny O dropped a ball during a trick. Piers was so frustrated that he even hit Sharon’s buzzer for her so as to put us all out of our misery. The Hoff finally buzzed him out and Piers didn’t even give him the courtesy of letting him hear the “No’s” from each of the judges as we saw one magic act after another fail miserably. Funny line of the night was from Jerry Springer when he said, “That there was no magic in Chicago.” Finally a husband and wife team of illusionist, The Pendragons, did a kickin’ trick that finally got a magic act through to the next round.
In the final segment in Chicago, several acts who impersonated other artist, mostly poorly, paraded across the stage until we saw a very pretty Elvis impersonator, Joseph Hall, saunter on in true Elvis style. Sharon Osbourne was so enthralled by him that she just wanted him to stand there and look pretty after he finished singing. If nothing else, he will fit right in on the Strip in Vegas or even marry folks in a Wedding Chapel or two. OK, the actual funny line of the night was when Sharon Osbourne said to the handsome Elvis impersonator that she had shoes older than him but that she would like to “Try him on.”
Jerry took us out saying that he would see us next time as we all pondered that all important question, “does America have talent” as we head to Dallas and Atlanta for the next set of auditions.
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