July 10, 2008 09:04 PM by Lisa Stauber
Tonight is the first night of real competition on Last Comic Standing. The 12 finalists have been selected, and now it’s time for them to see their new home. They’ll be taking the bus.
“It’s tough to prepare for a bus ride of comedians,in a short bus,” Jeff Dye says. The new Casa de Comedy is huge, and the starving artists are all duly impressed. God’s Pottery found a perfect set of bunk beds, in a bedroom complete with a pink shag rug.
Iliza Shlesinger and Esther Ku are roomies, and Esther’s laugh is already getting on her nerves. Apparently all of the comics have noticed her giggle, likening it to “a sonic boom” and “a machine gun”. Maybe they should stop being funny, so she’ll stop laughing!
It’s time to meet up with the host of the show. “Welcome to the first ever Last Comic Standing Calendar Shoot,” Bill Bellamy tells them, and sends them to find costumes in their dressing rooms.
Marcus chooses to be a down on her luck Wonder Woman, and Sean Cullen chooses chain mail and ballerina skirts. God’s Pottery chooses Roman gods and jailhouse devils, and Jeff Dye goes with being a big baby.
Iliza goes for Biker Chic, and Louis Ramey goes with,something,with personality. Adam Hunter sports a ‘fro, and Jim Tavare chooses a wig. Papa CJ is a Bollywood pirate, and Ron G is pimping it up. Esther is a pig in high heels, and Paul Foot also goes with an animal theme, choosing elephant accessories.
A top ten pops up, and it’s the best jokes told on Last Comic Standing. We’ll be treated throughout the night.
The First Challenge
The girls wake up, and find 13 glasses on the counter with one egg yolk in each one. Jeff Dye drinks the first one, but Iliza can’t keep it down. The bus shows up before everyone gets a chance to slug them down.
The comics arrive at a boxing ring. They’ll be doing the Last Comic Smackdown, throwing punchlines and going head to head against their competitors. The theme? Yo’ Momma jokes. The winner gets immunity from elimination.
Marcus is lost. “I’ve never done a your momma joke in my life,” he says. He better figure it out! The round is being judged by Jamie Kennedy.
Louis Ramey takes the ring against Jeff Dye. “Yo’ Momma’s so fat, even her panties have stretch marks. Jeff retorts with a Stephen Hawking joke. He follows it up with “Yo’ Momma’s so fat she was the waitress at the Last Supper,” and takes the match.
God’s Pottery decides to take the high ground, starting with a “Yo’ Momma’s so pretty,” joke. Ron G won’t have any of it, retorting, “Your mother’s so old she knows the recipe for dirt.” Ron’s expressions make God’s Pottery even funnier.
The rounds continue, and Papa CJ gets a great Hindu cow joke in. Sean Cullen cracks up Bill with his jokes. “You’re mother is so old, she was in the shower washing, raised her breast, and a pilgrim fell out!”
Fearne Cotton shows up in her Honda Pilot for Last Comic Driving. Stevie D. talks about his hair, and if you want him to win $10,000, vote for him on www.nbc.com.
The Semifinal Smackdown
Four comics move on to the semifinals, and a chance to win immunity. Adam Hunter, God’s Pottery, Jim Tavare, and Sean Cullen will be competing. They have to start with “You’re such a hack” jokes.
God’s Pottery tries to keep it nice. “It’s like going up against Borat,” Adam says, and God’s Pottery takes the point. Sean Cullen and Jim Tavare match up next. “You’re such a hack, your act has cured my insomnia,” Jim says. Sean’s jokes are long and a little hard to follow, and when Jim insults comic Carrot Top and Sean, he takes the point.
The Main Event
Jim takes on God’s Pottery with You’re So Dumb jokes. “There are limitations to the human mind. You just proved it,” Jim tells them. God’s Pottery comes back with “You’re the kind of person who doesn’t enjoy rainbows!”
Jim takes the win, and he’s immune from elimination. Each comic will have to vote for someone to be eliminated.
The Short Bus takes them to a cemetery to cast their votes. Everyone hates Esther Ku’s laugh, and she gets the most votes. Iliza promised not to vote for Ku, but did anyway. Now Esther gets to pick two comics, and she goes with God’s Pottery and Iliza.
“I picked Iliza because she’s lame and judgemental,” Esther says. She’s definitely holding a grudge! A little awkward, since they share a room.
Esther takes the stage, and recycles some old jokes before moving on to new territory, joking about not dating Asian men.
God’s Pottery shows up with a guitar, and they get the entire Los Angeles audience to sing about how much they love Jesus. I’m not sure it’s funny, but the audience is happy!
Iliza takes the stage talking about dating, and she’s hilarious.
Two acts will be eliminated, and one gets to stay in. God’s Pottery got the fewest number of votes, and they are sent home. Iliza’s going to stay in the house with 68% of the audience’s favorite vote. Ku, and her laugh, leave too.
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