October 22, 2008 01:00 PM by Paulene Hinds
Former American Idol, Nikki McKibbon, a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, has revealed that Simon Cowell led her on a downward spiral.
“I came out of Idol with a lack of self-confidence,” McKibbin told Us Weekly. “I think I had my first solo in school when I was 5, and I got more as I got older: That’s the biggest compliment in choir. I had never been told I wasn’t good enough. Having to hear it for so many weeks from Simon Cowell killed me inside. I couldn’t get the s–t he had said to me out of my head.”
The former Idol finalist also said, “It drove me deeper into my depression. I wouldn’t say that this was Simon’s fault. It just added to the addict that I already was.”
Nikki , who Simon compared to Adam Sandler’s tone deaf character in 1998 movie ‘The Wedding Singer’, reveals she would sneak vodka into the Idol contestant’s house to help numb her pain.
Nikki is now recovering from her addictions – thanks to her participation in the second season of “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew” on VH1 and even though she jumped at Celebrity Rehab’s offer to participate, McKibbin said she struggled with the program initially.
“I wanted to come home, I didn’t feel like it was working,” McKibbin explained.
However once she accepted she was an addict, things began going better and she’s now been sober for four months.
“I still have urges but I control them one second at a time,” McKibbin told Us.
Dr. Drew Pinsky says he likes her chances of avoiding a relapse.
“She has a good chance,”he told Us. “But I think it will be rocky. She’s a trauma survivor with bipolar disorder and severe addiction.”
VH1′s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew premieres October 23 at 10 PM ET.
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