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The Bachelorette: Tattletales!

June 08, 2009 07:03 PM by Candace Young

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Tonight’s episode of ABC’s The Bachelorette begins with host Chris Harrison telling the guys that Jillian Harris has left Los Angeles, and they will be leaving to join her in her hometown – Vancouver, British Columbia! The bachelors are stoked, and soon are arriving at a luxurious hotel in Canada. Jillian arrives and leads a toast to them being on her home turf, before leaving again. The first date card is then revealed – Kiptyn, largely perceived as the frontrunner, is getting a one-on-one date to ‘cook up some love Vancouver-style’!

Jillian squeals as she meets up with Kiptyn for their first date alone – she mentions that she’s had the hots for him since he first stepped out of the limo! They’re going kayaking – brrr. At their destination they’ll go shopping, and then will kayak back. They race, and kiss at the end. At the market they ‘play house’, buying ingredients to make dinner.

Back at the hotel, the guys are entertaining themselves by speculating about how Jillian wants a ‘real man’. Juan is spending quality time with the cameras – stating that David should leave The Bachelorette.

Kiptyn and Jillian, meanwhile, bond over how they help others in their lives, and needing to be best friends as well as romantic partners – it seems the perfect match (which probably means she won’t choose him in the end). They return to her place to cook dinner, and Jillian says this is all she wants – to hang out with her man. They snuggle and schmooze as they concoct dishes together – it’s a miracle nothing gets burnt! The mating dance continues with mega mutual compliments and a lot of awkward kissing. Jillian gives him a rose – he’s a happy man.

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Jesse, Tanner, Jake, Robby, Wes, Ed, Michael, Reid, David, and Juan get the group date nod back at the hotel – which leaves Mike and Mark to go on the two-on-one date this week – meaning one of them is leaving for sure, since only one can survive the two-on-one date.

In a stroke of boredom, Jillian has arranged for the group date to be something ‘truly Canadian’ – curling. Macho posturing ensues as the guys attempt to hurl stones down a surface of ice. Back at the hotel, Mike and Mark get their two-on-one date card, and Mike tells the camera that he is confident about it. He also adds that Jillian should take a look at some of the house footage and see some of the men, such as Dave and Wes, as they really are! Meow!

Still curling, Wes ticks his team members off by inadvertently hurling himself down the ice with the rock! Michael takes advantage of the chilly atmosphere to throw his arms around Jillian and warm her up. Jesse turns out to be the star of the day, though, doing Olympic level shots and unveiling an atrocious celebratory dance featuring his butt sticking out! The red team wins the match, and gets to go out with Jillian. The members of the blue team are certain that she’d rather be with them!

Aboard an old historic boat, Jillian toasts the winning team. They go inside to eat and a pile of crabs is dumped in the middle of the table. Afterward, Jillian takes Jake off for some alone time. She says he seems perfect – he tells her he’s flawed. Judging by the brown shirt he’s chosen to wear, I’m thinking he’s telling the truth. Jesse gets one-on-one time next, and receives reassurance that he’s still there for a reason. Back in the other part of the boat – Dave is telling Jake that he’s too straight-laced, and not much of a challenge!

Dave gets Jillian’s full attention next, but turns her off by being a total neanderthal who focuses on her ass, her breasts and trying to arrogantly push a kiss on her – telling her he’s never turned down! Jillian feels he was disrespectful toward her – Dave thinks she’s hot for him. Really. After the boat debacle, Jesse nets the rose.

Mark and Mike head out for the two-on-one date. Mark is arguably the most understated man on The Bachelorette – I didn’t remember he existed! They meet her and Mike rushes right over. Mark quickly becomes the odd man out. They board a helicopter, and understated Mark attains true third wheel status as Mike sits next to her and holds her hand! They land on Grouse Mountain and Mike, once again, takes the lead by making a toast and telling Jillian how attracted he is to her. Mark sits mutely at the table. When he finally does speak he is self-conscious and uncomfortable – uh oh.

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Jillian talks to Mike alone, he pulls out all the stops – even saying he’s falling in love. Jillian, who appears to be half in the bag, slurs that she knows he’s there for all the right reasons. Mark takes his turn with Jillian and shares a story about how a girl broke his heart! Jillian appears to be politely interested, and offers bleary-eyed commiseration. When the three of them reconvene at the table, Jillian speaks some mumbo-jumbo before shockingly offering the rose to Mark! Mike and Jillian go for a walk and she puts him on a gondola out of there! The bozos back at the hotel wait eagerly to see whose luggage gets picked up – even they think Jillian made a mistake letting Mike go!

As the weekly cocktail party is set to start, Jillian sparkles in a mini dress. She goes off with Reid, who is secretly worried that Jillian won’t figure out that Wes is only there to promote his music. Some of the other men echo his sentiments on camera. When Jillian spends time outside with Wes, the other guys watch from the window. Inside, Tanner lets it slip that Wes has a girlfriend back home! Outside, Jillian kisses Wes and tells the camera she could see falling in love with him.

Jake, who Jillian senses is pulling back, is the next person she sees solo. He admits that if she wants a boy there are plenty in the house – she should be careful whom she sends home. Interrupting Juan, well, interrupts. Jake returns to chat with Tanner about whether or not to tell Jillian the truth about those who are there for the wrong reasons. Ultimately, Tanner tells The Bachelorette that some guys have girlfriends and/or agendas. Jillian is upset.

Jillian gathers her bachelors and confronts them, saying that she needs to figure things out and there is not going to be a cocktail party anymore that night!

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They head in where the bachelors stand in a group. Chris hands out a verbal spanking before inviting Jillian to come in. Chris asks if anyone has something they need to say. Jake finally says he’s there to find love and he’d be really pissed to find out someone is there who has a girlfriend. No one comes forward, and Jesse warns ‘it will come out’. Several guys decide to say that they don’t have girlfriends, before it dissolves into an argument again. Jillian is not prepared to do the rose ceremony and leaves the room.

When Jillian returns, Reid gets the first rose. Robby, Ed, Michael, Wes, Jake, and Tanner get the remaining roses. Juan and David have to leave. Jillian tells the guys she is taking them to Whistler! As for viewers – we’re disappointed that the alleged guys with girlfriends weren’t revealed! Maybe next week!

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Photos Courtesy: ABC

Topics: ABC Reality TV Shows, Reality TV Listings, The Bachelorette |

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