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Here Come The Newlyweds: I Will Pull This Minivan Over

June 22, 2009 08:19 PM by Britteny Elrick

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Tonight onHere Come The Newlyweds, the newlyweds will facea challenge involving a young couple’s worst nightmare:the minivan. No, they won’t have to actually drive it, thank goodness, but they will have to pack it with a mountain of items in record time. Then they will participate in what I feel is the most important test of a relationship: how well you know your partner’s food preferences.

Pat tells the ladies of the house to go grab some breakfast and the guys will join them shortly for their first challenge. As you might have guessed, the girls are already playing the game and don’t know it. The girls load up their plates, and Pat tells the men they have to guess which plate belongs to their beloved. Finally, a challenge that means something. For each correct plate, they get $15k added to the pot. All the boys do good and bring the total to $340k.

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Then, in true alcoholic style, all of the couples go inside for some breakfast and beer. They play an answer and question game in which Mr. Corliss mentions that his wife comes across as a flusey. She takes offense and says he could have just said “high maintenance.” When he tries to explain himself later, he ends up likening her to a hooker. Sigh.

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The next morning, the birds are chirping and the sun is shining. Or maybe that was the ABC sound effects guy jacking with me. It’s time for the elimination challenge and I’ll tell you this much: it involves a mini van.

There is tons of stuff strewn about the ground, and whichever couple packs everything and closes the latch in the fasted time wins immunity. Kenny McMorris is scrambling and his wife is just standing there pushing his butt. I’m not exactly sure of the strategy behind this move. The Hinkins, in all their smiley-haven’t-ever-had-a-fight glory, were laughing through their frustrations.

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Mr. Corliss just crams things in the van and pushes on them with all the power of Hercules. The Iengs are stumped on everything from the doggy cage to the basket… they are completely perplexed on the inner workings. They unload and reload the van numerous times. The McMorris’ come in second to the Newberys. I know what you’re thinking: Pat is going to tempt them with not only $25k, but $30k. And you, my darling, would be absolutely correct. But they don’t take it.

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Later that night, the couples discuss their most romantic moments together. The Iengs sum the Corlisses up pretty well when they say, “They’re everything. They’re weird, they’re nice, they’re funny, they’re scary.” When the couples are talking privately in their rooms, the Iengs are still shocked that they sucked so bad at packing. He does a demonstration for her, while packing his own suitcase, and says, “Yea, I do suck. This isn’t fast at all.”

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Of course, The Corlisses are worried they will be up there for the fourth week in a row. Pat messes with them for a second, but then tells them to stay where they are. Instead, he calls the Iengs and the Hinkins. UGH!!! It’s the Iengs. What the?! Man, I’m about to blow this popsicle stand – these people are nuts! I will miss you guys.

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Photo Courtesy: ABC

Topics: ABC Reality TV Shows, Here Come the Newlyweds |

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