March 11, 2010 09:27 PM by Nancy Floyd
Tonight’s brand new episode ofÂ The Marriage Ref onÂ NBC brings together an amazing all-star judging panel! JoiningÂ The Marriage Ref to mediate real-life marital disputes is Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s Larry David, pop music icon Madonna, and comedian Ricky Gervais. Keep reading for all the details on this hilarious and explosive hour of television…
The first brave souls facingÂ The Marriage Ref tonight onÂ NBC are Mindy and Alan, a couple from Long Island who have been married for 28 years. Here’s the problem: Alan is a total slob. The only way that Mindy can get Alan to do chores and clean up is by bribing him with sex. The celebrity panel is shocked and disgusted by Mindy’s ridiculous behavior. Withholding sex in marriage is never a good idea. Larry David thinks Mindy is stupid and is lucky that any guy would want to sleep with her. If you saw her, you might agree. Larry’s advice for Alan? Get a prostitute.
Let’s get some facts, shall we? Look, there’s Maria Menounos!! Maria enlightens the audience and celebrity panel with these, er, enlightening facts: Housecleaning services can reach between 100-200 dollars per visit and a sex act can begin at 10 dollars. Um, thanks for that, Maria. Not sure that those zingers really clear anything up. Larry David, Madonna, and Ricky Gervais are unanimous in their support of Alan, thinking Mindy doesn’t have the right to withhold sex from her husband for any reason, despite the fact that his basement looks like the wreckage of a natural disaster.Â The Marriage Ref, Tom Papa agrees with tonight’s celebrity panel and rules in favor of Alan! Congratulations Alan. You get to have sex with your wife without having to do the dishes!
The next couple on tonight’s episode ofÂ The Marriage Ref is David and Susan from Mandeville, Louisiana. They’ve been married for three years and seem blissfully in love. Their dilemma actually puts them in agreement about one thing: they both want the other to remove memories of their past. Susan wants David to get rid of the sofas that belonged to he and his ex-wife. David wants Susan to get rid of her late husband’s prosthetic leg. Yes, his leg. She’s been keeping it in the closet. Creeped out yet?
Madonna questions Susan and David’s need forÂ The Marriage Ref. Perhaps a trip to the funny farm is more appropriate. Madonna thinks the couches should go simply because they’re so ugly. All three celebs agree that the leg needs to go. Not surprisingly,Â The Marriage Ref agrees. I mean, who keeps a prosthetic leg lying around?! Especially one with a tube sock still attached.
Onto the next marital dispute onÂ The Marriage Ref.Â Tony and Laura have been married for 14 years but something has come between them: Iggy, their pet iguana. Laura bathes Iggy in the bathtub, dresses him in scarves and funny hats, refers to herself as his ‘mommy,’ and practically makes out with him. Naturally, Tony’s a bit jealous and wants the lizard to move out of the house.
So what does the celebrity panel think? Madonna sympathizes with Laura’s affinity toward her pets, Ricky Gervais thinks the lizard looks like a male sex organ, and Larry David has to pee. Madonna’s showing quite a bit of spunk on tonight’s episode, arguing with nearly everything that Larry David says and challenging his views on women and marriage. With all the bickering going on between these two, they might need to be mediated byÂ The Marriage Ref themselves. Larry David and Ricky Gervais, on the other hand, are getting along swimmingly, going so far as to decide to move in together and start their own show together.
So what’s the ruling on Tony and Laura’s situation? Madonna and Ricky are siding with Laura. While they think her behavior is crazy, they understand that all pet owners do crazy things for their pets. Larry David thinks the lizard needs to go andÂ The Marriage Ref agrees with him. Tied at 2-2, which way is this gonna go? Tom Papa rules in favor of Tony which sends Madonna and Ricky Gervais into a frenzy. As a heated debate ensues between the celebrity panel andÂ The Marriage Ref, Maria Menounos interferes with a shocking fact: Tony is the one who brought the lizard home in the first place! Larry David is convinced to change his vote and upon further review,Â The Marriage Ref changes his ruling and Iggy gets to stay in the house! Some might say that the real winner in this debate is the lizard, but after seeing the abuse he has to suffer by wearing all those goofy hats, I think he might’ve preferred being banished to the backyard.
Next up onÂ NBC‘sÂ The Marriage Ref isÂ Clive and his wife, Jaclyn, who have been married for 14 years. The problem? He’s a momma’s boy! Despite the fact that he’s 45 years old and a psychiatrist, Clive can’t seem to cut the umbilical cord and separate himself from his mother. He confides in her about everything and even though Jaclyn doesn’t like his mother (and the feeling seems to be mutual), Clive can’t figure out what to do. The clips show him talking to his mom about his sex life while she rips apart his wife and her (lack of) education. Wow. There are people in this world paying this guy for advice.
As you might expect, the celebrity panel is more than a little bit disturbed by Clive’s behavior! Madonna, Larry David, and Ricky Gervais side with the wife without question. Everyone seems to agree that Clive and his mother are in the wrong. It’s time forÂ The Marriage Ref to make the call. Tom Papa gives Clive permission to talk to his mother on Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Sundays for 15 minutes and that’s it. Madonna then makes fun of Clive’s tie. Way to stick it to him, Madge!
For being such great sports (and being willing to air their embarrassing grievances onÂ The Marriage Ref), all four couples are given a second honeymoon courtesy ofÂ NBC. I sure hope that Tony and Laura’s room has enough space for Iggy. I bet he’ll love the tropical weather. And do you suppose that Susan and David will remember to bring extra suntan lotion for Susan’s dead husband’s prosthetic leg? These are the questions I want answered.
Photos Courtesy of NBC