March 25, 2010 08:12 PM by Nancy Floyd
Apparently Jerry Seinfeld, Alec Baldwin, and Kelly Ripa couldn’t get enough ofÂ NBC‘sÂ The Marriage Ref because the three celebs are back tonight for more marital mediation! Keep reading for more details on how they voted in disputes about Mariah Carey obsessions, unpromising rap aspirations, and vicious pets…
Tonight’s episode ofÂ The Marriage Ref features the return of celebrity panelists Jerry Seinfeld, Kelly Ripa, and Alec Baldwin. The first pair seeking arbitration is Kris and Erin, a New York couple that’s been married for three years. Their dilemma centers around the fact that Kris has an alter ego named Krispy, a cheesy white middle-aged rapper. Kris wants to try to be a rap star and naturally Erin realizes he has absolutely no chance of ever succeeding. All three celebrity panelists agree with Erin that Kris has no talent, although Alec Baldwin would like it if Erin were a little kinder when dealing with him. It seems pretty obvious that all three are going to vote in favor of Erin, but just for argument’s sake let’s check withÂ NBC news correspondent, Natalie Morales for some facts on the situation. It turns out that there are only 11 successful white rappers in the world. Really!? There are actually 11?! I would’ve guessed three at most.
It’s time for the celebrity panel to weigh in on the issue which brings us to the highlight of the show: Alec Baldwin attempting to rap and Kelly Ripa telling him his rhymes were fly. Fantastic. Despite the fact that all three celebs agree that Krispy isn’t going anywhere, they actually vote in favor of Kris and support him having a hobby, as weird as it is. Really? A unanimous vote for the white middle-aged rapper?!Â The Marriage Ref agrees with the panel and gives Krispy the stamp of approval to keep rapping. And ears bleed everywhere…
The next couple looking for help fromÂ The Marriage Ref is Jimmy and Susan in Kissimmee, Florida. Jimmy keeps his motorcycle in the middle of the living room, but Susan wants him to move it. Just so we’re clear: neon beer signs are appropriate living room decor, but motorcycles are not. Oh, and they have a cat that uses the toilet. That’s completely irrelevant but amazing nonetheless. The celebrity panel is divided on the motorcycle issue but wait…there’s more trouble in paradise for Jimmy and Susan. He’s obsessed with Mariah Carey and actually refers to her as a drug. Susan thinks Mariah is a no-good hussy and considers her the other woman in their marriage. They then proceed to have a heated conversation about Mariah as though Jimmy is legitimately involved with her. Somewhere in the world Nick Cannon is pissed. I don’t blame him one bit. One look at Jimmy’s shady ‘stache shows that he’s a serious threat to men everywhere.
When it comes to the motorcycle issue, Alec Baldwin and Kelly Ripa side with Susan in thinking that Jimmy needs to move it to the bike. Jerry Seinfeld, however, thinks the bike should stay. When it comes to the Mariah issue, Alec and Jerry side with Susan in thinking the no-good hussy needs to go, but Kelly thinks it’s no big deal for Jimmy to have a little obsession with the singer. It’s time forÂ The Marriage Ref the make the call. Even though he thinks that the motorcycle and Mariah obsessions are insane,Â The Marriage Ref thinks that Jimmy genuinely loves his wife and handles himself well in arguments which is why he’s deemed the winner on both issues! Jimmy’s so happy that he begins making out with the potty-trained cat. Seriously….with all the mouth-on-mouth kissing going on, Jimmy’s bound to get a hairball. The disgusting public display of affection causesÂ The Marriage Ref to review the call and change his mind. Susan wins everything!
Maria and Jim are the final couple rehashing their marital disputes onÂ The Marriage Ref. Their dilemma? Their dog, Zeus, a little white furball with the temperament of Cujo. Jim is obsessed with Zeus. He brushes his teeth, cuddles with him on the couch, and runs alongside him on the treadmill. Maria hates the demon-possessed dog which constantly tries to bite her.
According to Natalie Morales, dogs can smell fear. Thanks for that enlightening fact, Nat. You have proven that you are just as smart as that 5-year-old kid from Jerry Maguire. All three celebrity panelists side with Maria in this dilemma that Cujo, er Zeus, need to go. Not surprisinglyÂ The Marriage Ref agrees with them and hands this victory to Maria. She’s thrilled, Jim is not, and Zeus looks like he just wants to chew on someone’s flesh.
All three couples featured on tonight’s episode are heading on a second honeymoon to Sandals in St. Lucia. Check out a new episode ofÂ The Marriage Ref next week onÂ NBC with celebrity guests, Jimmy Fallon, Kirstie Alley, and Sheryl Crow.
Photo Courtesy of NBC