August 23, 2010 10:00 AM by Nancy Floyd
Fantasia Barrino is opening up to VH1 about her recent drug overdose and subsequent hospitalization, admitting to the desire to end her life.Â The season 3Â American Idol champ says she “didn’t have any fight” left in her and knew exactly what she was doing. Keep reading for more details about Fantasia Barrino’s suicide attempt in her own words…
Two weeks after attempting to end her own life, Fantasia Barrino is opening up about the failed suicide attempt and drug overdose for a VH1 Behind The Music special airing Tuesday night at 9pm EST.Â ”I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out,” the season 3Â American Idol winner says. “At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with â€“ all of it, all of that [expletive].”
In the interview, Fantasia Barrino recounts the final moments before her suicide attempt saying,Â ”I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”
The American Idol star says that the complications in her life got to be too much for her to handle.Â ”I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family â€“ my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] â€“ I was tired,” she says. “My head was hurting me. I was over it.”
Her problems were recently made worse when Paula Cook, the ex-wife of Fantasia’s on-again/off-again boyfriend, Antwaun, threatened to file a lawsuit against the singer for breaking up the couple’s marriage. “When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home,” Fantasia Barrino says about Antwaun. “He didn’t want to be back with his wife â€“ that is what I was told. I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’”
Fantasia attributes her newfound will to live to her nurse at the hospital.Â ”My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear,” Fantasia says. “She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, ‘You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ’cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny.’Â I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.”
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