November 02, 2010 04:49 PM by Vaughn Alaine-Marshall
We recently caught up with a Reality TV addict who canâ€™t get enough of Reality TV. Samantha, who has a bizarre addiction to Reality TV addict, used to live a normal life away from sitting in front of the TV twelve hours a day now says she canâ€™t live without it.
â€œWatching Reality TV is pretty much my life now,â€ said TV addict. Comparing her old life of family gatherings, hanging out with friends, engagement plans, working as a lawyer as completely boring. â€œMy fiancÃ© Ben did nothing but complain. He was constantly interrupting my viewing time with his mundane lifeâ€¦ and to think I wanted to have octuplets with him.â€ Since ending her engagement plans and living a solitude life in front of the TV, Samantha says life couldnâ€™t be better. Celebrity Reality TV shows are Samanthaâ€™s favorite brand of Reality TV.â€œThe life of a celebrity is so much more fulfilling than mine,â€ she said excitedly.
Samanthaâ€™s new addition to her Reality TV family is Mel Bâ€™s â€œItâ€™s a Scary Worldâ€ which premiered recently on the Style network. The first episode was packed with plenty of drama as Mel B prepared to attend the premiere of Eddie Murphyâ€™s new film â€˜Shrek Forever Afterâ€™, join a Pussycat Dolls dance show and then have dinner with her husband. â€œMelâ€™s life is so full on!â€ explains TV addict, â€œwhen she was in her therapists office bursting into tears, I just wanted to put my arm around her and tell her that everything is going to be okay â€“ shame on you Eddie Murphy! You make me sick!â€ Asked if she ever watches the news Samantha said, â€œOh no, I never watch the newsâ€¦ I donâ€™t trust what theyâ€™re telling me. If I need to know whatâ€™s happening around the world I watch E News.â€
Samantha has lost touch with friends and family recently. One family member who asked not to be named said Samantha is absolutely crazy and wants her to stop watching Reality TV in fear it will ruin her life. â€œSheâ€™s lost the plotâ€¦â€ â€˜Jennyâ€™ said wiping away tears, â€œThanksgiving last year was the last time we saw Samantha. She acted so bizarre the entire day. She told several family members that they were â€œwhoresâ€, told Nanna and Pop that they were the â€œlast to arriveâ€ and therefore were â€œeliminated from the gameâ€ and then shut the door in their faces, and got everyone to weigh in when they arrived. When it came time to say â€˜Graceâ€™ she started yelling obscenities and flipped the table re-enacting a scene from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.â€ Hannah, who used to be Samanthaâ€™s secretary until she left the firm, said Samantha used to be a great person to work for until she started to watch Reality TV. â€œWhen I had my first baby last year I talked about how hard it is was,â€ explains Hannah, â€œSamantha got angry and said that I should stop complaining. She said if I had sextuplets like Kate Gosselin did then I would know what â€œhardâ€ was.â€ Hannah continues, â€œShe spent the next 2 hours talking about the Gosselin family â€“ it was a nightmare!â€
Taking a tour of Samanthaâ€™s home feels a little creepy and I just knew I had opened up a can of worms.â€œGene Simmons Family Jewels funniest moment was when Gene got his hand super-glued to a vibrator. He was attending a wedding and I knew Shannon was going to find out. Oh boy, that Gene gets up to some crazy stuff.â€ â€œI have fallen in love with Giuliana and Bill. They are the sweetest couple on earth! I really feel for Giuliana and Bill trying to start a family. Donâ€™t give up you guysâ€¦ youâ€™ll make wonderful parents.â€ Around Samanthaâ€™s dining room table are half body cut-outs of some of her favorite â€œReal Housewivesâ€ Teresa, Danielle, Caroline and Jacqueline whom she eats all her meals with. â€œI really love all â€˜The Real Housewivesâ€™ but New Jersey is my favorite. I am going to miss Danielle Staub,â€ Samantha said while giving Danielle a hug. â€œI just hope weâ€™ll get to see a lot more of her.â€
Samantha takes me to one room that is filled with full body cut-outs of all the current Dancing With The Stars contestants.â€œI am so excited! I am rooting for Florence Henderson to take home the mirror ball trophy. I might end up with a huge cell phone bill but Florenceâ€¦ or â€˜Momâ€™ as I call her, will be worth every dime.â€ Samanthaâ€™s love of Reality TV may seem abnormal to some but Samantha says while pointing the finger in a menacing way, â€œItâ€™s not me, itâ€™s you. You just let your readers knowâ€¦ The Situation is going to get ugly.â€
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Photo credit: BRAVO
About the author: Vaughn Alaine-Marshall is the author of the reality-based novel Ãœberstar. Born in Sydney, Australia, Vaughn is a chiropractor who put a career in private practice on hold after four-and-a-half days to co-found the international publishing firm Hendlin Books. Based in Hamburg, Germany, Vaughn is bringing the vision of his firmâ€™s two namesakes â€“ Jimi Hendrix (HEND-) and Charlie Chaplin (-LIN) â€“ into the publishing world. Vaughnâ€™s debut novel, Ãœberstar, is a groundbreaking exploration of reality-television as told by insider sources from the worldâ€™s biggest reality shows. For more information www.uberstarthebook.com.
Topics: Dancing With the Stars, Giuliana & Bill, Jon & Kate plus 8, Kate Plus 8, The Real Housewives Of New Jersey |
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