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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Burying the Hatchet & Picking Up a Gun

June 26, 2011 09:29 PM by Shayla Perry

Peace at last? Thank you Jeee-sus, as Melissa Gorga would say. Find out what happens when she and Teresa Giudice try to mend their broken relationship in an all new episode of Bravo‘s Real Housewives of New Jersey. And no, it’s not Melissa that Teresa’s aiming at with the gun…or is it?

This week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, after seemingly making up with her brother, Teresa Giudice and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga get down to business and finally talk about what’s been tearing their families apart.

Teresa does a great job of keeping things from getting catty, telling Melissa that she’s not there to dig up the past, and simply admitting that they’re both at fault for their problems (way to repress those emotions, T!). The ladies hug and it looks like we’ve made progress, until they bring up the parents….

Thankfully, Jacqueline comes in just in time to defuse that one!

So, problem solved, right?

And if you look out your window right now, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll see pigs taking flight.

At the Manzo house, Caroline and her husband are discussing the upcoming trip to the Catskills with Teresa and Jacqueline. Caroline’s husband, won’t be going (smart guy), but Jacqueline’s husband, Chris, is, and he knows just how to prepare for a weekend away with the ‘wives — guns! Lots and lots of guns!

Though they made nice (for now) Melissa and Joe Gorga won’t be making the trip to the Catskills, which is probably a good idea, considering all the drinking that’s likely to go down and all the ammo that Chris is bringing. Not exactly the best combination. Their daughter, Antonia, also has a ballroom dancing recital that they don’t want to miss.

As she’s putting on makeup in her gold plated mirror (we get it, your husband makes a lot of money), Melissa chats with her sister about the recital, and her mother-in-law, who she’s invited to come, but hasn’t responded yet. Melissa complains that Joe’s mom doesn’t spend much time with their children, mostly due to the fact that she’s busy watching Teresa’s kids for her every day because, as she says, Teresa can’t afford a nanny right now. She then makes it clear that she has a nanny because her husband works hard and they can afford one. We’re trying really hard to like her right now, but Melissa, you’ve gotta give us something to work with!

When her sister asks about her talk with Teresa, Melissa complains that it was frustrating because Teresa was saying all the things that she usually says. Oh, boy….

Not surprisingly, Kathy Wakile is thinking about opening a catering business. She wants to do desserts only, but her husband suggests that she do an entire restaurant, and maybe even a huge banquet hall. Hmm, that sure sounds familiar. Sorry, Rich! We’re with Kathy on this one. Does New Jersey really need another Italian restaurant? Hopefully she wins this battle in the long run.

Road trip!

Teresa, Joe, Jacqueline, and Chris, pack up and hit the road to the Catskills, where they’ll apparently be joined by some of Joe’s family, which looks more like a LOT of Joe’s family. Let the drinking begin!

After some “dog fart” wine, Teresa asks Jacqueline for some pointers on giving um– BJs, since Joe’s told everyone that she could use some help in that department.

After their Thanksgiving dinner and this trip, it seems that alcohol makes the Housewives soooo much more fun. And look, both times Joe Giudice is actually awake and happy. We even get a rare look at the c**k ring Joe uses… Okay, so maybe the alcohol’s not such a good idea.

The next day, Caroline & sons (and her friend Dolores) arrive to the sound of gun shots. Caroline, not wanting to partake, heads to town with the ladies while the guys do their own thing.

Quads. That’s what the guys are doing. The one thing Caroline didn’t want her boys doing, since a friend of hers lost his legs during an accident.

Later, as the Giudice family toasts with their “dog fart” wine and enjoy torturing Caroline with pieces of roasted pig and lamb, Joe Gorga tortures us as he AGAIN gropes his wife on their way out the door to their daughter’s recital. That poor little girl is going to be so traumatized when she goes to watch the video of her recital and finds that the first few minutes of the tape is nothing but her mother’s ass.

At the recital, we’re presented with a bit of a problem because we can’t decide who’s cuter — Antonia doing her dance or Joe Gorga dancing with his mother. It’s a toss up, because as adorable as Antonia is, it’s a little creepy that she’s the only kid in this recital, and she’s dancing with a grown man, and Joe — well, it’s obvious that he’s been enjoying the free wine. Which brings us to another point…. Free wine served in Styrofoam cups at a dance recital?!

The Catskills crew is getting ready to do some dancing of their own as they hit the town to check out this club they’ve heard about. As Teresa puts it, “It was like 5th Avenue inraided the Catskills.” Yes– inraided.

After some shots, Teresa gets on the stage and grabs the mic to see if she can find any eli- eligible? Eligible bachelors for Caroline’s friend. Unfortunately, the B&B Lounge doesn’t have much to offer.

Before leaving their country retreat to go back to New Jersey, the group fires off a few more rounds, then say a little prayer at the chapel Joe and Teresa’s family built on the property. Caroline and Jacqueline can’t stop laughing at the fact that minutes ago they were shooting guns, and now they’re lighting candles and praying. Where’s Melissa when you need her with a big, “Thank you Jeee-sus!”?

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Photo Credit: Bravo

Topics: Bravo Reality TV Shows, The Real Housewives Of New Jersey |

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One Response to “The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Burying the Hatchet & Picking Up a Gun”

  1. Chris Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Excellent write up! I really do think quite a few of these kids from reality shows will be “messed up” in a few years. You have Tamra hot tubbing it naked with a guy her kids don’t know, Melissa talking about sex with her gross husband ALL the time! Teresa and Joe with that sex ring–way over the top. A lot of it was probably drunk sex talk, but Bravo should do a tad more editing to keep it a little classier. This episode in particular, although funny, was rough at times! I feel badly for Teresa’s kids reading these tabloids about their Dad possibly going to jail. It’s just sad for the kids in my opinion.

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