September 14, 2011 09:28 PM by Ryan Haidet
After months of the dramatic summer battle that is Big Brother, the finale finally arrived. Who won the $500,000 prize and claimed the title as champion of Big Brother 13? Well, it did happen during the 90-minute conclusion, but there was a lot of stuff in between. First, we had to deal with the first part of the final Head of Household competition. Want to know all the details from tonight’s finale? Read on for more!
HoH Part 1
Peel back the clock to last Thursday when Rachel, Porsche and Adam were left spinning on a platform in an endurance battle part 1 of the final HoH. Naturally, Adam sucked in the competition and dropped off first after spending a tad less than 29 minutes in the battle. Porsche said she was starting to feel sick from all of the spinning and was showing signs of weakness while Rachel held steady. After 46 minutes, Porsche jumped off next. That gave Rachel victory and a pass to part 3 of the final HoH.
HoH Part 2
Following a commercial break, we dove straight into the second part of the final HoH competition as Adam and Porsche went one at a time in a timed challenge. It was a maze underwater in which they had to take the faces of each houseguest who won HoH and place them in the correct order starting with the first week. Porsche went first and was very disappointed with her performance. Adam went second and sucked once again. He idiotically tossed the goggles he was wearing out of the pool since they kept filling up with water. But when he didn’t have the goggles, Adam realized he couldn’t see anything at all. So he had to take some time to run out of the water and grab the goggles. Moron. When the times were revealed, Adam finished the challenge in 6:03. Porsche finished in 3:50. That meant Porsche won part 2 of the final HoH and was set to square off against Rachel in the final round.
Kalia and Jordan joined the jury members just in time for each of them to discuss the final three. Oddly, when Jordan came around the corner, Brendon erupted in a celebration since that meant Rachel was still in the game. Jordan said Rachel should win because she’s played an awesome game and was victorious in many competitions. Daniele argued that Rachel treated everybody terribly and was an ultimate floater since she always seemed to beg the HoH for help. Brendon, naturally, argued his case for Rachel to win. So did Jeff. Shelly and Daniele kept saying that Rachel was very brutal at times.
On the other end of the spectrum, everybody who supported Rachel was against Porsche. But Kalia defended Porsche’s gameplay by saying, “She won when she had to.” As far as Adam was concerned, Jordan thought he did show some qualities of a person deserving of winning the game. Jeff agreed since he believed being loyal and true is a big part in winning the game. No way! Adam NEVER deserves to win the game.
HoH Part 3
It was a live trivia battle as Rachel and Porsche fought for the final HoH of the summer. It was the traditional final challenge featuring questions answered by the jury members. Rachel and Porsche each had to predict how each jury member answered a question. With only a few correct responses, Rachel won the competition.
Final Live Eviction
Before Rachel made her decision on who to evict, both Porsche and Adam asked her to take them to the final two. Porsche’s plea was understandable, but Adam’s was ridiculous. He made the argument that Porsche was a major floater and didn’t deserve to win the game. Huh? He’s the biggest floater ever! Seriously! But Rachel saw through his garbage and voted to evict Adam after saying she made a deal with Porsche. “You kicked butt,” he told Rachel. Then he offered one last metal yell before exploding into the studio audience. He even did the silly Hulk Hogan move by putting his hand up to his ear as the crowd cheered.
In his final interview, Adam told host Julie Chen that he played the game well. He said that Rachel made a good strategic decision in evicting him since he would have beat her in the final two. What delusional world is he living in? Own up to the fact that you sucked the entire summer.
Julie introduced the entire jury to the live studio audience as they settled in to make their final votes. When Adam came walking out to join them, Brendon celebrated once again since that meant Rachel made it to the final two. At this point, it seemed like a no-brainer that Rachel would be the winner of the entire game. But before I get ahead of myself, each jury member asked questions of the final two. This was absolutely terrible television. The jury was reading scripted questions, which I’m sure was done to save time. But it also appeared that none of them actually intended to ask those questions themselves. It was almost like they were all producer-fed questions. Didn’t it seem odd when Brendon asked Rachel a question about her nasty comments to some of the other houseguests? I think so.
In her final plea to the jury, Rachel kept pushing the fact that she was a tough competitor. She went over some of her biggest game moves and strategic decisions after pointing out how much of a threat she was perceived as for the entire season. OK, Rachel. We get it. You’re a competitor.
Porsche’s final comments were lame. She said she was second place in four competitions and won four. Don’t admit you were good at coming in second place. That’s just dumb.
Here’s how the live voting went down:
- Brendon professed his love to Rachel as he put his vote in the box.
- Daniele told Porsche how much she adores her and then told Rachel she is lucky that Big Brother isn’t a personality contest.
- Jeff simply offered congratulations.
- Shelly told them how proud she is of them.
- Kalia said “pajama pajama” as she cast her vote.
- Jordan told Rachel she misses her and then told them both that they each “did good.”
- When Adam voted, he told Rachel that he would have won the game had she not evicted him. Then he said he will win the game when he comes back for an All-Star season. Oh, please!
This wasn’t very compelling stuff whatsoever, as we were given the typical Evel Dick vs. Daniele schtick. But there was a very interesting moment when Jeff was asked about his feelings toward Shelly now. He finally admitted that it is all just a game and it seemed he was pretending to have moved on. It just felt very phony. As far as Daniele is concerned, Jeff said he doesn’t dislike her, oh wait, he does dislike her. What a turd. I thought you just said it was only a game.
The Winner Is…
When Julie revealed the live votes, Rachel won the competition by a single vote. Here’s how it broke down:
- Brendon voted for Rachel.
- Daniele voted for Porsche.
- Jeff voted for Rachel.
- Shelly voted for Rachel.
- Kalia voted for Porsche.
- Jordan voted for Rachel.
- Adam voted for Porsche.
As they walked out of the house together, Rachel kept shaking excitedly. She landed straight in Brendon’s arms as confetti floated all around them. This sparked a mini reunion as all of the houseguests walked around and hugged each other. I hate to admit this since I have never been a big fan of Rachel’s. But I’m actually happy she won the game. Without a doubt, she was the person left in the game who deserved it more than anybody. And after Brendon left the house, she went from acting like a complete idiot, to somebody I could actually tolerate.
And finally, there was one more task at hand. We had to hear who America voted as their favorite houseguest, which also came with a $25,000 check. Anybody surprised to see that Jeff won? Oh, brother.
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Photos courtesy: CBS