March 21, 2012 07:27 PM by Ryan Haidet
In what I feel is a very frustrating season, Survivor: One World finally delivered a stellar episode as one of the meanest, most conniving, disgusting, rude, selfish human beings to ever play the game was given what he deserved. That’s right, Colton Cumbie’s ass is out of the game. Go ahead and cheer. I know you want to. The evil is outta there and it’s all because his appendix hates him. I’ve never believed in karma more than I do tonight. If that wasn’t enough to make tonight’s episode exciting, both tribes went to Tribal Council where Jeff Probst delivered shocking news about the future of the game. What all went down? Read on to find out!
The episode began with Colton and Alicia acting like total assholes toward Christina after they returned to camp following Monica’s elimination. They both were rubbing it in her face that she was guaranteed to be the next person voted off. “You might make an alliance with a hermit crab,” Colton told her. Then, as Christina asked for some room in the shelter to lay down, Alicia acted like a 10-year-old kid refusing to politely move. Seriously, folks?!?! It’s cool to dislike somebody, but to treat them like absolute garbage is bullshit. Alicia, you need a wake-up call.
The Reward challenge, which was for a trip to a Survivor-style ice-cream parlor, brought another loss to Manono. Two of the worst competitors in the challenge were Alicia and Colton, but that didn’t seem to matter. All Colton could focus on was how bad Christina was performing. “I’m just so ready for Christina to be gone,” Colton said in confessional. “You can quit or you can wait and go home in two days, or you can jump in the fire and be medevaced, whichever’s more convenient for you. She drives me insane. I hate her voice, I hate her face, I hate everything about her.” When they were sitting around camp, Colton then actually suggested to Christina that she just jump in the fire.
Alicia’s nastiness sparked when she overheard Christina campaigning against her with Leif and Jonas. Instead of backing down and denying her actions like I feel Alicia and Colton would do, Christina owned it. That’s when the claws came out and Alicia repeatedly labeled Christina as a bad player. Honestly, Alicia and Colton may be two of the worst players I’ve ever seen take on this game — a social game. Constantly ridiculing and fighting with your tribemates is the worst mistake anybody could make.
The Pain In The Ass Gets A Pain In The Gut
That night, Colton found himself with a severe headache and ironically into the care of Christina. Yep, the person he had been so crude to was the holding and massaging his head. Although I do think her actions were genuine, there was no doubt strategy involved with that one.
The next day, Christina found Colton laying in the woods by himself and rushed to get help. It wasn’t long before Probst and a pair of medics showed up to assess the situation. As the medic pressed gently on his right side, Colton painfully grunted. His heart rate then doubled to 120. Although Probst mentioned constipation, the medic said it was likely appendicitis. “It’s too risky to not take him out and get investigated ’cause it can burst,” she said. Colton cried and begged Probst to stay in the game. But the spoiled brat didn’t get his way. Nope. Instead, Probst delivered one of the funniest moments I’ve seen in a long time — “Do you still have the Idol?” he asked Colton. Hahaha! When Colton said yes, Probst said he could do whatever he wanted with it. He could give it away or keep it for himself. Are you surprised he kept it for himself? You shouldn’t be. In true Colton fashion, he took it home with him. As his tribemates came to say goodbye, he was wearing the Idol around his neck and told them to thank Sabrina for the souvenir.
If that whole scenario wasn’t karma enough, Alicia found herself with her back against the wall. She really thought Colton should have given her the Idol. Smart players, huh? If you hadn’t been running your obnoxious mouth the entire game you wouldn’t need an Idol as badly as you do now, moron.
While I was thrilled to see Colton get his due, I actually felt a little bad for him. I know. It doesn’t make sense, right? But something in me felt sorry for him. Maybe because he was a total asshole for nothing.
If the events involving Colton weren’t enough to shake the Manono castaways, both tribes received a surprising treemail: “The game continues on, so don’t give up the fight. You haven’t won, you haven’t lost, but you will go to Tribal tonight.” With Colton’s medical emergency, I certainly didn’t suspect another person would be voted out — but I also didn’t anticipate the twist Probst threw at them as they all sat down at Tribal. “The game is about to get complicated one more time. You can drop your buffs. We are merged.” I guess I was so hyped up on everything up to that point because I didn’t see that coming. At all. Probst then tossed the 12 remaining contestants their new buffs, which are disappointingly black. I know it’s extremely nerdy to complain about the buff colors, but I’m so tired of seeing black used as a merged color. Both tribal buffs were so beautifully vibrant this season and to have them washed out with black kind of sucks. Black continues to be the most duplicated merged buff color having been used in seven times in seasons 7, 12, 13, 15, 20, 22 and now 24. The merged tribe will be living together at the original One World beach.
One other element that came out of Tribal Council is that Alicia announced that Colton took the Idol home while offering his thanks to Sabrina for the souvenir. Sabrina actually said she believed the story because Colton only wanted that Idol for himself. Chelsea, on the other hand, didn’t buy it one bit. She thought they still had the Idol.
On another note, Kat really popped up unexpectedly in this episode. “I had a dream that I was in the mall shopping for clothes and Alicia killed me in my dream,” she told the Salani tribe. “Maybe that’s a sign, maybe it’s not. I don’t know. I hope she doesn’t kill me but that was very scary for me.” Then were Probst explained at Tribal Council that Colton had acute appendicitis, her reaction was ridiculous. “Oh, my God. What is that?” she asked. After Leif and Kim revealed they’ve both had their appendixes removed, Kat declared that she was worried it was going to happen to her next. Oy! I guess this is the reason she’s been pretty much invisible since Nina was booted.
All I can say is wow. What a rush that episode turned out to be. Not only am I happy Colton’s nasty attitude is gone from the show, it will actually be nice to have some of this season focus on the other players. Now all we need is for Tarzan and Alicia to get voted off and we’ll actually have a fun season.
What did you think of the episode? Were you happy Colton was removed from the game? Did you find yourself feeling sorry for him? What about Alicia and her actions toward Christina? Are you happy the tribes merged? Are you tired of black buffs, too? Sound off and leave a comment below!
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