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The Bachelorette Recap: No Rainbow Connection Under The Love Clock

May 21, 2012 08:24 PM by Candace Young

Last week, The Bachelorette season premiere highlights included Emily Maynard receiving an ostrich egg, a bachelor flying himself in by helicopter, and the first impression rose going to Doug, who apparently has a violent criminal past. So, that’s how it began. Keep reading to find out how Emily’s dates go this week, and who will go home…

Tonight, Chris Harrison kicks off The Bachelorette in Charlotte by calling the guys into the courtyard and giving them the rundown on how the different dates will work. He leaves the first date card, which goes to Ryan, and says, “Be my king in the queen city.”  The other guys say predictable things about being jealous.

One-On-One Date

Emily and the pro sports trainer take off in a Suburban (with Em behind the wheel) and wind up at her house, where she asks him to help carry in her groceries. The look on his face is priceless! Ryan then learns they’ll be baking cookies for her daughter’s soccer practice. He dons a flowery apron and plays along.  Later, they take the cookies to the game, and Emily makes him to wait in the vehicle. One gets the feeling Ryan would rather be up in a hot air balloon or on one of the infamous helicopter rides, but he tries valiantly to act like he’s having the time of his life. His relief is palpable when he learns that dinner will be held at an adult venue , and not at Chuck E Cheese.

Once they’re dressed for dinner, Ryan, whose balls have been sufficiently busted, is allowed to drive the sports car to Osso. Emily gets right down to asking how many girlfriends he’s had over wine. Ryan sweats on the hot seat! He manages to turn it around on her and ask if she’ll truly be able to let a man come in and be a father to Ricki. She sweetly says she wants someone who is up to taking control – though she’ll actually be in charge. Hilarious! Emily complains in-camera about getting the ‘too perfect’ vibe from Ryan – which causes bad Brad Womack flashbacks – but gives him the rose anyway.  Outside, they dance as Gloriana plays for them. Emily tells the camera she sees a future with him. What?

Group Date

The group date is ‘Let’s set the stage for love’, a title that automatically gives those with stage fright the willies. Emily confirms the worst – they’ll be dancing, singing, and performing. The good news? They’ll have help from co-stars Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog!  Miss Piggy sizes up the bachelors with an eye to snagging Emily’s leftovers. Fozzie Bear gives guidance behind-the-scenes as the other guys begin to realize Charlie is having some serious issues. He visits Emily alone and explains he has some speech problems and isn’t ready to tackle comedy just yet. She’s very understanding.

Emily is nervous herself, and almost earns a karate chop from Miss Piggy after spending alone time with Kermit. She gets through her part, and so does Charlie, which warms the heart – group date rose recipient? To end, Ricki comes out and sings Rainbow Connection with Miss Piggy and Kermit. Great – we’ll have that song stuck in our heads for days now!

Later, Emily hangs with the group date guys. One particularly overzealous bachelor, Chris, crosses the line to creepy in his determination to get alone time. Emily seems to like him – go figure. Emily next seeks out Jef – she feels like he’s playing hard-to-get. He claims not to be. Whatever he’s doing, it appears to be working! Elsewhere, bickering breaks out between Stevie and Kalon, who look to be contenders for this season’s token rivalry. Emily gives the rose to Jef. Creepy Chris is upset.

One-On-One Date

Joe, the bachelor with the wavy-gravy hair gets the next one-on-one date – ‘come close to my heart’. Joe scores the over-the-top date that Ryan coveted. I’d axe Joe just based on the loud pink and blue flannel shirt choice, but Emily jets off with him to West Virginia. They go to the Greenbriar – a fancy resort she frequented when she was younger.

Back at the house, Kalon is involved in yet another drama, as he gets into it with single father, Doug. Kalon makes the mistake of insinuating that Doug put being a father on hold to participate. Doug straightens him out with some real talk, telling Kalon repeatedly to check himself. Skeery.

At Greenbriar, Joe has cleaned up nicely in a suit after a swim, and is speechless at the sight of Emily in her gorgeous gown.  She’s hoping to feel more of  a spark with him, but Joe’s skittish answers to her questions don’t help his cause. Emily shows Joe the love clock, in which people can place love notes that should stand the test of time. Joe goes for broke, writing that he wants to come back there someday with her and Ricki. Emily thinks it’s so sweet, but just ain’t feeling it – she withholds the rose and Joe exits without a fight.

Cocktail Party

The only attention-worthy happening at the cocktail party occurs when Tony tries to bust in on Ryan and Emily’s alone time, and ends up standing by listening to Emily read a romantic (seven page!) letter Ryan wrote her. Awkward! Emily is aware of Tony’s presence and feels Ryan should have picked a better time to spring the letter on her. Ya’ think?

Rose Ceremony

Emily’s best bet at this point might actually be Kermit, but she elects to give roses to Kalon, Arie, Michael, Nate, Sean, Chris, Doug, Travis, Tony, John, Alessandro, Charlie, Alejandro, and Stevie. Jef and Ryan were already safe. Aaron and Kyle are sent packing.  Aaron thinks Emily’s missing out, and Kyle leaves kicking his own ass.

Emily tells the remaining bachelors they’ll still be in Charlotte next week.

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Photo Courtesy: ABC

Topics: ABC Reality TV Shows, The Bachelorette |

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