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Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Sixteen Chefs Compete For A Chance To Kiss A Giraffe

June 11, 2012 10:47 PM by Melissa Stavarski

Sixteen chefs remain on Hell’s Kitchen.  Picking up right where we left off last week, Chris has been sent packing and Gordon Ramsay is one pissed off dude.  After two failed dinner services, crowds of people leave Hell’s Kitchen famished. Definitely, an embarrassment to Ramsey. What happens this week?  Is dinner served? Do the crazies smother Barbie in her sleep and bury her in the backyard? Who makes out with a giraffe? Keep reading for all the highlights!

Robyn is still blaming Barbie for everything that is wrong with the world.  The scallops aren’t done; it’s Barbie’s fault. It rains too much in Seattle; it’s Barbie’s fault.  Small planes get lost in the Bermuda Triangle; it’s Barbie’s fault.  Everything is Barbie’s fault.

Barbie noisily loads the dishwasher way early in the morning purposely trying to be mature childish and a team player witch. Barbie’s loud foot stomping and banging of dishes disrupts the women’s beauty sleep.  It is ON!

Tiffany threatens to choke her out.  Robyn threatens to snap her neck. Did Ramsay stumble into tryouts for Ultimate Fighting and mistake it for Hell’s Kitchen auditions? Seriously, where did he find these brutes? Barbie mocks them to the camera, “I’m shaking in my boots!”  In a rare moment of lucidness, Kimmie suggests that if they want to win they need to come together as a team.


Red team (women) and blue team (men) must complete lunch orders for 60 new American citizens.

Royce ruins the salads.  Guy yells, “Gimme a bowl, gimme a bowl!”  Guy and Clemenza save the blue team by managing to assemble a proper California Cobb salad.  Take note, Royce, you’re a douchebag.  Also, there’s no place in a California Cobb salad for mushrooms.

Barbie jumps the gun by starting pizza before the salad is served.  Robyn takes charge. Later, when they need a pizza, there isn’t any pizza.  The pizza they do place is overcooked.  Ramsay tells the group he’d rather flee the f-ing country than eat their pizza.

The blue team struggles with pizza and sliders.  In the end, the blue team sucks more than the red team sucks, and the red team is the first to complete the challenge.  Ramsay declares the red team the winners and orders them to help the blue team feed their guests. Take that, Royce’s ego.

Gordon Ramsay treats the winners to a trip to San Diego. Boarding the jet, Kimmie says, “We’re going up, up, up.”  We’re treated to a nice shot of Kimmie’s exposed backside.  Someone should tell her to pull her pants “up, up, up.” The women go on a safari, where they make out with a bunch of giraffes.  Dana is excited to get some action.

The losers have to chop down a tree.  The men are dripping in sweat and attracting swarms of flies.  The giraffe tongues suddenly look much more appealing.  Heck, even Kimmie’s butt crack looks more attractive than a sweat-soaked Clemenza covered in flies. He might be a gigantic venus flytrap disguised as a chef.

Dinner service:

Patrick declared himself the team leader after the team lost the challenge.  Royce is not on board with this plan. Royce says about Patrick, “I just want him to know he sucks.”  They exchange some heated words in the kitchen.

For the first time, Royce’s efforts in the kitchen match his high opinion of himself.  He places a “delicious” risotto.  Clemenza puts out perfect lamb chops.  The blue team is off to a smashing start.

In the red kitchen, Dana and Barbie both mess up.  Dana’s spaghetti is too saucy.  Barbie, once again, ruins the scallops.  Christina steps up and takes over the scallops, placing satisfactory dishes.  Less than satisfactory are Briana, Kimmie, and Roshni.  Ramsay compares Briana’s brain to her fish.  “Not only has it shrunk, it’s disappeared!”

Clemenza ruins too many wellingtons, leaving himself short.  A tableful of Marines ordered wellington and now Clemenza cannot complete the order.  Ramsay sends him out to face the Marines, who all graciously accept NY strip steaks as a suitable replacement.  As Clemenza is walking away, Ramsay tells his teammates, “Baby Rhino screws the Marines!” Patrick, the self-appointed team leader, vows to “make it happen!”  You were doing nothing so well all night, Patrick.  Why start leading now?

The red team fails to serve a group of firefighters, so they get a  ”Get out! Get out! And one more thing…. GET OUT!”  Ramsay adds, “Go <beep> off upstairs!”

Ramsay declares the blue team the winners for putting out the first Hell’s Kitchen dinner service this season.  As the losers, the women must vote on two for elimination.


Owning her mistakes, Briana nominates herself.  Then, she excuses herself to smoke a half pack of cigarettes.  It will be a miracle if any of these contestants stay healthy enough to finish the competition.

Dana, who vows to keep nominating Barbie until Barbie stops screwing them, votes for Barbie.  Barbie votes for Dana.  In front of Ramsay, the team names Briana and Barbie as their two.  Briana because the cod held them back and Barbie because they hate her.  She might have messed up the scallops too.  Ramsay accepts the two nominations but pulls Roshni out of line and makes her stand between Briana and Barbie.  Ramsay says she earned a spot on the chopping block and tells her she’s in over her head in this competition.

Even though Ramsay describes Barbie as the appendix everyone wants out, he sends Briana home.

RTVM –  Did a fly-infested Clemenza make you bust out your DVD of Little Shop of Horrors?  Were you surprised by Briana’s elimination?

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Photo credit: fox.com

Topics: FOX Reality TV Shows, Gordon Ramsay, Hell's Kitchen |

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