June 21, 2012 05:04 AM by Christine McDow
If you have been following our exclusive blog with MasterChef contestant Monti Carlo, you have seen that she holds nothing back and is very open about her time on the show and her experiences. In this weeks blog she talks about heading to Camp Pendleton, the crab challenge, her feelings about fellow contestant Ryan and the games he was playing…as well as what many fans see as his very cruel behavior.
Do you remember what it felt like to be picked last for the kickball game? Christine and I got to relive it this week on MasterChef for our first Team Challenge. I was already nauseous from our two hour BLIND FOLDED van ride to Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base, but getting told we were going to feed 201 hungry marines in less than 90 minutes made me feel like I was going to vomit everything I had eaten in the last 10 years.
Our food service is INSANITY. There’s blood everywhere… mostly David’s. Say what you want about his leadership skills, that kid gives it his all. But it still isn’t enough. We run out of potatoes and our double cut pork chops have more pink in them than a Victoria’s Secret store. If it wasn’t for Becky and Josh’s dogged determination at the grill, I don’t know how we would’ve made it through. The hardest part for me is staring at all the young men and women, some fresh out of high school, knowing that they’re about to be shipped off to Afghanistan. Their dedication and bravery leave me speechless. It’s hard not to feel foolish about competing in a reality show when you’re facing sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers who are just hours away from a war zone. It’s an absolute HONOR and one of the highlights of MY LIFE to be able to serve them, even if it isn’t perfect.
While we’re standing in front of these incredible men AND WOMEN waiting for the results of the vote, Ryan cements his spot as Douche Bag Of The Year by REPEATEDLY asking Helene and I to show off our cleavage to “get more votes”. When he spews, “This would be a perfect time for a nipple slip.” I have to cross my arms so I won’t be tempted to use them to push him off our bleachers. Only Ryan would make sexist remarks while standing in front of 80 women with semi automatic weapons. Dummy.
Our Red Team ends up winning the challenge and Frank’s Blue Team has to face the first Pressure Test of the season. They have to make a perfect apple pie in one hour. My apple pie got me into the MasterChef Top 100. (Check out the recipe at www.slap-yo-momma.com) It’s MISSION IMPOSSIBLE to make an apple pie in one hour and someone’s apron is on the line.
I ‘m mesmerized watching Christine, the first blind contestant in MasterChef history, as she struggles with her dough. I want her to get through this more than anything I’ve wanted in a very long time. I have complete, unabashed admiration for that woman. She is an inspiration to me and I feel blessed to be sharing my MasterChef journey with her. When Gordon Ramsay praises her beautiful apple pie I’m overcome with emotion. (I know…SHOCKER.) For me THIS MOMENT is what this competition is truly about. A true MasterChef can face any challenge, no matter how daunting and EXCELL. Christine is my HERO.
Our next challenge is a Mystery Box full of offal: organ meats, bull’s testicles and a disgusting sheep’s skull. NOTE TO SELF: Lambs are much cuter when they‘re fluffy and ALIVE. We’re only allowed to use the ingredients in the Mystery Box to create a dish, and while I have a blast deep frying testicles and pretending they’re my ex’s, it’s Ryan that wins with what Graham deems “A perfectly balanced dish.” He will have a huge advantage during today’s Elimination Challenge.
The theme is fresh versus convenience food and Ryan immediately starts gushing about how he’s going to throw us all under the bus. Since he won the Mystery Box challenge, he doesn’t have to cook and he gets to pick who will cook with live crab and who will have to use canned crab. I’m not shocked when he chooses the inferior canned crab for me, but I am ABSOLUTELY DUMBFOUNDED when he gives Christine a live crab to work with. Christine’s fingers are HER EYES and she cuts them repeatedly while trying to pry the meat from the crab’s shell. Ryan smiles down at her from the safety of the balcony as I shake with anger. Christine will be recovering for days from those cuts. I always have a tube of Neosporin in my bag (Hello. My kid’s name is Danger.) and I decide to douse Christine’s fingers with it as soon as we’re done, whether she likes it or not .
The highlight of this day for me is having Joe Bastianich ask me why my dishes always have such a sadness about them. When I confess that my divorce is still weighing heavily on me, Joe looks me square in the eye and tells me that my ex husband is missing out on some delicious food. Graham smiles kindly at me with that lopsided grin of his as Gordon giggles about my Crab Scotch Egg. I am profoundly moved and know that if anyone ever says an unkind word about these three men in front of me I WILL HAVE TO GO TO JAIL.
I’m ECSTATIC when Christine and Josh win the challenge. They’re two of my favorite people and WILDLY talented. On a side note, I’ve been inundated with messages about Ryan on Twitter (@MC3Monti) and FaceBook (/MC3Monti). While I understand how turned off many viewers felt by his sexist comments and poor sportsmanship, I don’t think Ryan is a bad guy. I think he likes to play one on TV. And if we’re keeping it 100% real there are many things I’ve said and done in my life that I’m ashamed of. Unfortunately Ryan made his mistakes on a national platform. Yes he’s an arrogant jerk. That doesn’t mean he deserves all the hate that’s coming his way.
MasterChef is one of the world’s biggest culinary competitions and every day someone has to leave. This week is Michael’s and Helene’s last in our kitchen. I admire both of them for their tenacity and I know that they will do great things in the culinary world because their passion for food is unmatched.
We are down to The Top 14 and the camera’s don’t show Mister Gordon Ramsay as he says, “Pack your bags.” with a twinkle in his eye. “Tomorrow we leave the MasterChef kitchen.” He pauses and adds “Aloha!” We all scream. Are we going to Hawaii?!?