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Hollywood Exes Recap: The Birds And The Bees

July 18, 2012 07:21 PM by Martha Zaborowski

Love is in the air for the ladies of Hollywood Exes: well, at least for Mayte Garcia and Jessica Canseco’s daughter, Josie. Mayte is going on a blind date with one of Nicole Murphy’s friends, and Jessica’s daughter is planning a Planned Parenthood visit! Keep reading to find out what else these bad mamma jammas are up to on episode 5 of Hollywood Exes on VH1.

Jessica Canseco

Jessica notices some good-looking men at the beach. According to Nicole, Jessica’s vagina has a device that propels her towards fine black men and repels her away from fine white men. And what does Jessica’s vagina do when it’s around her ex, Jose Canseco? Actually, I don’t want to know. I have a feeling I will regret listening to the TMI details of Jessica’s response.

Jose is moving to Boston, and he still hasn’t told his daughter yet. When Jessica tells her the news, Josie reveals she doesn’t feel Jose really loves her. Perhaps due to her daddy issues, she is getting really attached to her boyfriend…and thinks it’s time to make a Planned Parenthood visit. Jessica remains cool and gives some level-headed advice about how love and feelings can change pretty easily as a teenager.

Andrea Kelly

Drea misses her babies in Chicago, but she is starting to feel more at peace that, in the end, this move to LA is for her kids’ sake. Drea is really hoping her dance career can take off in LA. Andrea is teaching a dance class at the Millenium Dance Complex, and Mayte joins. The class is small, but it seems like everyone is having a good time. Drea is a great teacher and teaches the class some very important dance moves, such as the booty clap.

Nicole Murphy

Nicole is taking her 22-year-old daughter shopping, and guess what? Her daughter is gorgeous! I know; so shocking when your mom looks like a supermodel.  Bria is interested in acting, and she certainly has the genes for it (with her being dad being Eddie Murphy and her mother being a freak of model nature).

Nicole is modeling again and poses in a series of provocative poses and dresses. She feels more beautiful in her 40s than 20s. I don’t blame her. Serious question: Is Nicole is one of the best-looking women on TV?

Sheree Fletcher

The ladies go to dinner, and she reveals no matter where she travels in the world…she sees Will. Her ex Will Smith apparently is especially popular in China, and she can’t watch TV in a hotel without running across a Will Smith movie. #HollywoodExesProblems

Sheree takes Drea to the Farmer’s Market to get her swirl on. Apparently, the Farmer’s Market is where white men hang out. LOL. Word of advice, ladies: this is definitely a place for white men, but they’re usually with their wives… :(

Mayte Garcia

Mayte is set up on her first blind date ever by Nicole Murphy, and girl is stressed. The blind date shows up in a hoodie. Sidebar to Nicole: Mayte is a hot dancer who is the ex of PRINCE. What were you thinking setting up an ex-PRINCEss with this scrub?

Anyway, you know what helps stress? Having your girlfriends go through your ex-husbands’ personal possessions! It sounds bad, but it was actually really fun for the ladies to pour over Prince’s majestic garments and make observations about his shoulder pads. Nicole can’t believe she is wearing one of Prince’s shirts because she has always been such a fan. Kinda cute to see the exes being fans of other exes.

Sidebar to Mayte: I don’t blame ya for keeping the clothes, but maybe you could put up one of your princely possessions on eBay? Don’t worry, Prince won’t know because he decreed the Internet was over. Wink.

What does Mayte’s mom think of Prince: “As an artist…I like him. As a person…” (squashes bug with foot). Damn, Nellie! Tell us what you really think.

Would you take Andrea’s dance class? Is Mayte still in love with Prince? How did you like this epsiode of Hollywood Exes? 

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Photos courtesy of VH1

Topics: Hollywood Exes, VH1 Reality TV Shows |

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1 Comment »

One Response to “Hollywood Exes Recap: The Birds And The Bees”

  1. Susan Fay Says:
    July 23rd, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    I’m loving the show but Andrea’s earings are making me crazy.With her short hair and slim face those earings just look ridiculous.She could still go big and unique just not so outrageously huge,it’s not attractive.

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