July 23, 2012 07:22 PM by Candace Young
Chris Harrison kicks off the latest season of Bachelor Pad by reminding us that the house consists of past losers, er, contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. The twist this season? Fans have been invited to join in the antics in the pad. Don’t expect them to be well-received. Read on for all the highlights and lowlights from the Bachelor Pad season opener…
Chris Bukowski, from Emily Maynard’s season of Bachelorette has come to Bachelor Pad with his super-intense sights set on Lindzi Cox, who was dumped by Ben Flajnik on his season of The Bachelor. Reid Rosenthal, from Jillian Harris’s season of The Bachelorette, is back, along with that season’s winner, Ed Swiderski, who won, but eventually split with Jillian. He admits he wasn’t prepared to be in a serious relationship at that point and many of the ‘cheating’ reports in the tabloids were true!
Blakeley Jones, from Ben’s season of The Bachelor, is on the scene and looking to win some cash – she’s sick of waxing for a living. Jaclyn Swartz, also from Ben’s season, is there too. She mocks Blakeley’s idea that they are ‘besties’ and notes that she’ll clearly go further than her. Notorious Kalon McMahon, who called Emily Maynard’s daughter ‘baggage’ and was told to get the ‘eff’ out, is also on the hunt for money – helicopter fuel is expensive!
Paige is the first fan to be revealed on Bachelor Pad. She has the hots for Chris Bukowski. Really? Anyway, she’s fully prepared to pee her pants with excitement upon meeting the Bachelor franchise contestants. SWAT team member, Chris, is going on the Bachelor Pad to find true love. Oh, dear. Donna, who loves herself in a bikini, has a crush on Michael Stagliano and will also join the fan contingent in the house. Superfan David says he’s already dated some of the bachelorettes in his mind. Yeah. He’s a wrestler or fighter, but seems kind of small. Erica and Brittany are blonde twins, also fans, who are also moving into the Bachelor Pad. FYI: Erica is a virgin and Brittany is definitely not. Hmm.
The first three into the mansion are Chris, Lindzi, and Ed. Lindzi clearly prefers Ed, and is even more giggly and animated when personal trainer Nick Peterson (Ashley Hebert’s season) appears. Rachel Trueheart (Ben Flajnk’s season) and Sarah Newlon (Brad Womack’s first season) quickly follow. Ryan Hoag from DeAnna Pappas’s season arrives. He notes that he was a virgin then, and is a 32 year-0ld virgin now. Okaaay. Jaclyn enters and starts strategizing with Rachel immediately about how to handle Blakeley, who is the next to enter. They pretend to like her. Jamie Otis (aka, Crazy Kisser from Ben’s season) and Tony Pieper (Single Dad, Emily’s season) are also there. Michael Stagliano, whose last round of Bachelor Pad was an emotional rollercoaster surrounding his ex-Holly Durst, is back, as is Legal Eagle, Erica Rose, who already has a beef with Kalon. Juicy!
The superfans arrive last. Inside, the Bachelor vets are already making fun of them and don’t feel they’ve earned a place there. In general, the men are received better than the females. The blonde twins get the women’s backs up big time. Erica Rose says there is only room for one set of twins in the house and gestures toward her breasts…uh oh.
The booze begins flowing and in no time at all super-sloshed Ed takes to the pool in his underwear and socks. Chris Harrison calls the group together to explain the ground rules. As Ed tries comically to get water out of his ear, Chris explains that the twins, Brittany and Erica, are competing as one person and will take turns participating in competitions. Ed loses interest and goes back in the pool. An unimpressed Harrison makes him get out. Hoo boy, Ed’s hammered. Chris tells the group they need to pair up before tomorrow and wishes them good luck.
Reid and Paige immediately bond as the ‘sweet’ couple. Nick and Erica Rose team up and he does push-ups with her on his back to seal the deal. Blakeley nets super-intense, Chris Bukowski, who tells her he needs to make sure the other girls aren’t mad. Cough, gag, sputter. Kalon and superfan Donna get it together, and bitchy Jaclyn takes on Drunk Ed. Match made in heaven.
The next day, it’s time for the challenge. Each couple has to get into a giant heart that is suspended from a cable. The hearts will be gradually tilted forward to see how long the couple can stay in before falling out and being deposited on the ground.
The hearts are tilted twice before the first couple ‘falls out of love’. Surprisingly it’s personal trainer Nick, and Erica Rose, who now have one vote against them going into the elimination. It comes down to Reid and Paige versus Brittany and David. Everyone wants the immature twins to go home, but Brittany and David win. They’ll be even more popular now!
On their date, David, Brittany, and Erica re-enact their favorite Bachelor dates on the boardwalk and beach – including a skinny dip! Superfan David doesn’t stop to question if it’s another one of his dreams – he strips down and hits the surf.
Back at the house, Blakeley is keeping a close eye on partner, Chris, who has caught Jamie’s eye. Blakeley’s ready to donkey punch him in the throat if he messes her around. Jamie and Chris go off to kiss and Blakeley gets wind of it thanks to Jaclyn, who follows along to fan the flames of dissension. A confrontation ensues, during which Chris claims he’s doing nothing wrong, Jamie says they were ‘only talking’, and Blakeley shed the first tears of the season.
Morning dawns and with it comes the time to get serious about backstabbing and strategizing. Super fan David, apparently feeling rather full of himself after his adventure with the twins the previous night, makes the mistake of telling Erica Rose he’s going to vote her out because it’s fans against Bachelor contestants. Erica Rose gives David and SWAT team Chris a stern warning and takes to crying. Mike Stagliano says what David did was mind-bogglingly idiotic. Erica Rose fights back by telling David he’s an ugly loser whose plan will backfire. Yike.
Chris Harrison opens voting. Fans David, Brittany, and Erica have roses and are safe. The other superfans are worried that they are now vulnerable thanks to big mouth David dividing the house. Nick is also in jeopardy, sort of, as anyone going along with David’s plan will vote him out The puzzling thing is that the newbies are outnumbered – so David’s reasoning is kinda’ flawed! SWAT team Chris makes appeals to all the women not to vote him out but pretty much realizes he’s screwed.
Erica Rose turns her attentions to lobbying to have Paige eliminated, thereby taking another potshot at the fans. Reid, meanwhile, promises sweet Paige she’s not going anywhere. Mike Stagliano takes Reid aside and warns that Paige is in jeopardy – the guys prefer to keep superfan Donna, because she’s hotter. Reid realizes that he may be the swing vote between Erica Rose or Paige going home. He campaigns on Paige’s behalf, but his fellow Bachelor contestants are determined to save Erica Rose. Reid’s last hope ends up being Kalon – who has a beef with Erica Rose. As they discuss it, Erica Rose busts in and flirts. Kalon basically tells everyone what they want to hear, but ultimately votes to eliminate Erica Rose. However, Reid and Paige realize that there’s still one wildcard – SWAT team Chris, who may not want to vote according to David’s plan on principle. It could still go either way…
Chris Harrison begins. Roses go to Lindzi, Chris, Sarah, Ed, Rachel, Reid, Jaclyn, Michael, Jamie, Kalon, Blakeley, Ryan, Donna, Tony, Nick, and Erica. Superfans Paige and SWAT team Chris are history.
Essentially, SWAT team Chris didn’t have a chance, but decided to take Paige down with him out of spite toward fellow fan, David, for putting a target on his back. Ouch.
SWAT team Chris says goodbye to his chance at finding true love, but feels he’s now a part of The Bachelor family. Ahem. Paige says goodbye to Reid, and what might have been a true love match… Reid does not pull an ‘Ames Brown’ and chase the car.
See you next week!
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Photo credit: ABC