August 16, 2012 07:07 PM by Ryan Haidet
If you thought the Zingbot’s appearance last night was lackluster, tonight’s episode of Big Brother 14 welcomed back former contestant Jeff Schroeder for one of the most worthless segments I’ve ever seen on the show. Not only did we have to listen to his opinions about this season (who cares?), we had to watch Ashley “cheat” on Ian by making out with Frank. Oh yeah, there was also an eviction as Wil and Joe had their heads on the chopping block.
Ashley Makes Out With Frank
No need to do a double take on that sub-headline. Ashley made out with Frank in the Head of Household bedroom. Their face-sucking fest started when Ashley asked Frank to go on an ice cream date with her despite having no ice cream in the house. Weird, right? Anyway, in the Diary Room, she said her motivation for the date was to get closer to Frank so she could see which way the house was likely swaying in this week’s elimination. That hope of getting closer to Frank didn’t take long when he asked her to make out on the coach. She thought he was joking — but the dude was totally serious. He grabbed her by the hand, sat down and she climbed on top of him as they started tickling tonsils. Ashley loved every second of it saying Frank reminds her of Channing Tatum with “nice lips” and a “soft tongue.” What do you think ladies? Is Frank your Channing Tatum?
The entire time this was happening I couldn’t help but feel bad for Ian. Frank pointed out to Ashley that Ian was probably upset they were having a private date and swapping slobber. Sadly, Ashley said she thinks Ian is faking his crush on her. Meanwhile, Ian was downstairs “worried” about what might be going on in the HoH bedroom. He nervously spent his time in the back yard wondering why they were spending so much time alone. Poor guy. He definitely is crushing hard on her. I’m rootin’ for ya, Ian.
Jeff Returns… Ugh
Jeff Schroeder — one of America’s favorite houseguests (blech!) — stopped by to offer his worthless opinions about the season by saying “anybody can win this game.” Well, duh. After saying he’s rooting for Ian, we had to watch a painfully silly moment with Jeff showing off his interviewing skills by asking host Julie Chen a question. What a friggin’ waste of time. Did you really care what Jeff had to say? I sure didn’t.
Joe’s Great Family
Joe’s family interviews made tonight’s episode a tad fun. They seem like sweet people with a great sense of humor. After saying how much they miss his cooking, Joe’s entire family made one hilarious suggestion — they also, like all of America, want him to stop screaming in the Diary Room.
The Live Eviction
After Julie quizzed the houseugests on current events — a segment that lasted far too long — the live voting for the next eviction began. With only two votes to keep him in the game (Ashley and Jenn), the rest of the houseguests voted to evict Wil. When he was booted from the house, Wil tossed his hair, offered up hugs, put on a sailor hat and walked out of the game forever.
I will admit that the HoH competition actually added a great twist to one of my favorite endurance challenges on the show. While sliding around on a slippery path, the houseguests had to use a tiny cup to transport colored water from one side of the backyard to a container on the other. The first person to do this — which was clearly not resolved by the end of the episode — would win HoH for the week. But there were two other (smaller) jugs each player could choose to fill up instead — one for complete safety from being nominated the next week and the other for $10,000. If they were the first to fill one of those up, they would win the temptation and find themselves out of the running for HoH. Boogie was the only person competing for the $10,000 prize while four were battling for safety and four were fighting for HoH. It really does add an interesting dynamic because it shows where people’s minds are. Who wants power, who wants to slide by and who is greedy? Very cool.
As the episode came to a close, Julie teased that next week will feature a special double eviction on Thursday night as an entire week of the game is played out in just one hour.
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Photos courtesy of CBS.