September 13, 2012 08:06 PM by Stephanie Gustafson
After an insane season of America’s Got Talent, we’ve finally arrived at the finals! Howard Stern thinks that either Tom Cotter or William Close will go home a wealthy man. How close did ‘America’s judge’ come to hitting the mark with his predictions? The suspense is killing us!
Another season of America’s Got Talent has passed all too quickly, and tonight, we get to relive all the best (and some of the worst) moments. Oh, and we get to see Nick Cannon in a white tux! He looked pretty darn debonair yesterday, but he’s outdone himself tonight!
There’s quite the lineup for guest artists tonight, and it’s all kicked off by Flo Rida performing I Cry. Next, Neyo pops on stage with Let Me Love You Until You Learn To Love Yourself. The audience appears to enjoy the music, but judging by the number of teenage girls present, it’s clear that everyone’s just biding their time until Justin Bieber shows up.
In one of the more interesting guest performances we’ve seen, One Republic joins William Close for a unique version of new single Feel Again. If Earth harpists always make Top 40 groups sound this good, maybe they need to be a permanent part of the band setup!
Another joint performance follows: this time Olate Dogs and The Untouchables join Frankie J in an exclusive performance. We’re wondering how quickly
As if living through the dud auditions once was bad enough, we have to see them again! Rounding out a ton of cringe-worthy moments is Burton Crane, the self-described grandfather of rap. This time, though, his catchy tune Whatcha Gonna Do gets a remix! Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Trish (the blonde ‘rapper’ who was obsessed with Howard) getting very cozy with one Mr. Stern. It’s amusing to see Burton again, but Trish is just annoying.
Awww, Howie has a little gift for Howard…and we mean little! To celebrate the end of his first season, Howie presents Howard with a close-and-personal performance from Big Barry! It’s nice to see Big Barry, but thank goodness he’s not actually performing on stage again.
Next, Blue Man Group shows up, instantly raising the energy level in the theater. The audience looks like it’s having a great time, but Sharon looks either shocked or disgusted. Or maybe her face is just frozen from all the plastic surgery.
More filler: we get to learn how Sharon, Howard and Howie are all best buddies. They really are goofs and it will be sad not to see Sharon as part of the trio.
In one of the more hilarious bits from the night, Tom Cotter roasts the judge. Problem is, he’s just too nice. He gets a little assistance in the form of Joan Rivers. First, she pushes Tom aside, telling him the rule of celebrity roasting is to work alone. Then, we learn that Howard is the new Imas, Sharon is ugly and Howie jumps up and down when he’s done with the urinal.
Joe Castillo brings us yet another inspiring sand painting, but this time he’s accompanied by the PS22 Children’s Chorus. Comparing tonight’s artwork with last night’s proves that Joe Castillo is at his best when he’s bringing a message of world peace…as opposed to drawing Howard with a beret.
Finally, it’s time for some results! Talk about suspense. The first act to go home is…The Untouchables. Aww, it looks like one of the little girls is about to cry. Sharon tells the dancers that they have a bright future and once again expresses her resolve to leave the show, saying, “This is my last show too.”
With The Untouchables out of the running, we learn that 5th place is going to Joe Castillo. Howie thanks Joe for inspiring the audience. As for 4th place…well, that honor goes to David Garibaldi and his CMYKS. Wait, that means that Howard’s predictions of the top 3 were correct!
OMFG it’s JUSTIN BIEBER!!! Cue the screaming of preteens everywhere. The incessant screaming is kinda cute at first, but it gets old quickly. Still, it’s nice that America’s Got Talent invited the Biebs back, seeing as he got shafted earlier this season.
We’re promised more results, but first, a montage of Nick Cannon’s best moments. The good thing is, this means getting to relive Nick on a stripper pole and being straddled by a tap-dancing grandma. The montage reminds us just why we love Nick: he’s crazy, but in the best possible way!
Yet another guest performance stands in the way of the results. this times, it’s Green Day. Not bad, but really, the extended guest performances are starting to make the show feel super long. We just want the darn results!
Be careful what you wish for applies to this situation; now that results are finally here, we’re sad to see another talented act go home. In the bombshell of the night, William Close DOES NOT WIN. What?! The judges’ have predicted his victory again and again. Then again, Howard changed his winning prediction from William to Tom Cotter. And that’s why you gotta stay on Howard’s good side!
It’s down to Tom Cotter and Olate Dogs. Both great acts in their own way. An Olate Dogs victory would echo the doggie days on Britain’s Got Talent, but it sure would be nice to see a comedian win the whole thing! Drum roll please…the winner is Olate Dogs! It’s an unexpected victory, but hey, those pups deserve it! Tom Cotter gets in one last dig, telling Nick that he’ll fall down the stairs and get his own million dollars.
That’s it for season 7 of America’s Got Talent. We’re going to have to wait a whole year before it’s back, and there’ll be no Sharon Osbourne. But we’re sure there’s plenty of great talent in store!
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Photo Credit: NBC