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America’s Next Top Model Recap: Smizers And Toochers

October 26, 2012 08:40 PM by Stephanie Gustafson

Everyone hates cliffhangers, but that didn’t stop America’s Next Top Model from including one last week. Tonight’s episode begins with a lineup of all the model rejects from earlier in the season. They’ve been participating in the first ever comeback competition and now the queen of the rejects will once again join the remaining Top Model contestants. Who made the cut?

Drumroll please…the winner of the comeback competition is Leila! And I think that’s great news, although I was kinda hoping for the sweet but dorky Jessie to return. And there’s more good news: the models get to go to Jamaica this week!

As the Jamaica trip kicks off, we see that Kiara’s a little boy crazy, and frankly, who can blame her, having been stuck with a group of drama queens for so long! She’s especially excited to hear that she’ll be modeling with hot guys. The problem is, you can’t do a great job at modeling if you’re busy drooling over some guy with chiseled abs.

Now we get a mini-modeling lesson from Tyra. It’s called Smizer vs Toocher: is the model strong with her body or her face? Tyra tells Victoria that she’s a definite Toocher — she uses her body to an extreme but often forgets the subtle facial expressions. Kiara, on the other hand is a Smizer. I’m just shaking my head at this weird terminology.

The girls get to choreograph a dance for the next challenge. Too bad Yvonne’s not around anymore — she used to be on a dance team! But Nastasia has some dance experience, so she’s hoping that finally a challenge will go well for her. They pair off into really obvious cliques: the blonde bitches (Laura and Kristin), the exotics (Nastasia and Kiara) and the quirky girls (Leila and Victoria).

It’s incredibly awkward to watch some of the models try to dance. The judges are waaay too lenient with scores in my opinion. Victoria and Leila get an 8 out of 10, despite Victoria’s odd, jerky style of dancing. Kristin gives Victoria and Leila the evil eye when she learns that she and Laura have earned only 7 out of 10. Nastasia and Kiara are actually pretty good dancers (or as Kristin labels them, “sluts”) and deserve their winning score of 9 out of 10. After the competition, Laura and Leila have a whine fest about the injustice of Nastasia and Kiara winning, plus how awful it is that gap-toothed Leila came back when all she can do is take good photos. Umm, isn’t performing well at shoots a prerequisite for being a model?

Victoria’s in luck, because today’s shoot is all about telling a story.  Each model is paired with the sexy male model of her choice, plus newbie ANTM judge Rob Evans. During the shoot, they have to convincingly portray a steamy love triangle.

The models head off for feedback from the judges and, with the exception of Nastasia (who has an AMAZING photo), Kelly, Rob, Tyra and Bryanboy are not feeling nice today. Kelly compares Victoria’s photo to an ad for a Celine Dion concert in Atlantic City. Rob thinks that Kristin’s too busy acting “too cool for school.” We gotta agree with him there. He tries to snap her out of her bitchy vibe by having her “act the fool” but all she does is skip around like a little girl.

Moment of truth! Best photo goes to Nastasia. No surprises there. Laura’s runner-up and Leila gets third. I’m so glad Leila proved Kristin and Laura wrong, because she’s very talented and frankly, far more likable than the icy blondes. Kiara and Victoria are in the bottom, which, given how bland their shots were, is more than reasonable. Still, I’m sad to hear that Victoria’s heading home. She was weird but so, so entertaining. I’m going to miss her weekly storytelling sessions.

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Photo Credit: CW

Topics: America's Next Top Model, CWTV Reality TV Shows |

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