October 26, 2012 01:00 PM by Stephanie Gustafson
After spending several days hyping up a supposedly game-changing announcement, Donald Trump finally released the big news yesterday: the Celebrity Apprentice star will donate $5 million to the charity of President Obama’s choice, but only if Obama releases his college records and passport. But Donald Trump didn’t get the last word — Stephen Colbert has presented an outrageous offer of his own!
Donald Trump thought he could put President Obama out of office with the help of a few stipulations attached to his $5 million charity offer, but all signs so far point to this “big announcement” having absolutely no impact on the election results. Can you really say you’re surprised?
While Trump’s offer may not be having the intended effect, it does make for great comedy fodder. Stephen Colbert certainly took advantage of the ploy, presenting Trump with an offer of his own: “Nation, I am so moved by this generous offer, that I have an offer of my own, right over here. Mr. Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million from the Colbert Super PAC – you know I’ve got it – to the charity of your choice, anything, save the children, feed the children, put the children on Child Apprentice, whatever. One million actual dollars if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth.”
Of course, Donald Trump is not getting off that easy. Just as Obama needs to have his transcript in by Halloween evening, Trump will also have a deadline to meet. Not to mention quality standards. “This dipping has to be to my, and more important, my balls’ satisfaction. One caveat, my balls must be in your mouth no later than 5:00 p.m. Oct. 31. My balls have a thing that night.”
We’re gonna go ahead and assume that Donald Trump will not take Stephen Colbert up on this offer. Sorry Colbert, your Halloween night “thing” with your balls will have to suffice.
Want more? Follow our tweets on Twitter and like us on Facebook!. Click here for more information about Celebrity Apprentice. For other great reality TV news, please feel free to check out SirLinksALot: The Apprentice Links.
Photo Source: Comedy Central