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Dancing With The Stars Recap: Military And Menage A Trois

November 13, 2012 01:57 AM by Stephanie Gustafson

It’s an exciting night on Dancing with the Stars, what with military-themed dances plus bringing on other DWTS pros for some hot trios! It’s also a very important night, because, the stars who fail to impress the voters and the judges could very well being heading home during tomorrow night’s double elimination.

As a former Olympic gymnast , Shawn Johnson generally has the advantage in some of the faster styles. Thus, the waltz is more of a challenge. Still, Shawn pulls it off like the champ she is. I think she deserves all 10s, but Len is a party pooper tonight.

Apolo is sick of just getting 9s, gol’ darn it! He’s pulling out all the stops to up his score, including dancing on the stairs and a zip-line flight.  As a former dancer, I have to cringe at the song selection — I remember dance competitions in which Holding Out For A Hero was used again and again. But it works well for Apolo and Karina, which is why they are rewarded by 10s from   Carrie Ann and Bruno and a 9.5 from sourpuss Bruno.

Again, song choice is problematic for me. Although nearly every artist has covered Hallelujah (my favorite being Rufus Wainwright), it was originally a Leonard Cohen song. And to me, Leonard Cohen and the military just don’t go together. But that’s just my interpretation of the song. Kirstie continues to improve every week and the judges agree. They award her the Herman Cain score: 9, 9, 9.

Next up are Kelly and Val, and finally, DWTS gets the song choice right. Okay, I’ll Be is also somewhat overused, but it makes for an amazing waltz. Both Kelly and Val really get into the emotion of the dance, but there are moments when the dance doesn’t quite flow. Len agrees, accusing the two of being too “herky-jerky” and of course, eliciting plenty of boos from the audience. Doesn’t matter though, because Kelly gets a total of 28 from the judges.

Gilles has been awarded the quickstep this week, or, as they call it on So You Think You Can Dance, the kiss of death. But according to Peta, Gilles has a great frame for quickstep. They do look great, although it’s a bit difficult to pick out some steps thanks to the blending of the all-black costuming. But the costume choice is in keeping with the military theme, so whatever. The good news is, we finally get a ten from Len!!

Carrie Ann accuses Emmitt of riding in the comfort zone, and while it’s a bit harsh, I’m inclined to agree. He just isn’t quite on the level of Gilles, Melissa, Shawn, Kelly and Apolo (translation: he’s behind everyone who isn’t Kirstie).

I knew from the beginning of the episode that somebody would be performing to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. And when I saw Melissa and Tony smiling in their sailor outfits, I knew they were the lucky couple. The audience loves it and Len loves it even more, explaining that it was the perfect quickstep, being both quick and full of steps. Tom thanks Len for telling us all what we figured out a long time ago. Len backs his compliment up with the highest form of flattery: it was the bee’s knees! And a triple ten from the judges is just the cherry on top.

And now, for the round is the round I like to refer to as the menage a trois. Shawn gets things started by performing an afro dance with current partner Derek and former partner Mark. Wow! For being a blonde girl-next-door type, she really can pull out a hot afro dance! The result, sadly, is very, very harsh criticism from Len, for there just wasn’t enough samba for his taste. Even Bruno admits that while there was a lot of Simba, there wasn’t enough samba. Once again, I find myself agreeing with Carrie Ann: that dance was so amazing, who cares how much samba made its way into the choreography! Predictably, there’s plenty of boos from the audience when Len awards only a 7.

Apolo goes the unexpected route and selects…another guy…for his dance. Actually, the reasoning is pretty solid: he wants troupe member Sasha to show him how to do the jive, since it’s a dance he’s struggled with in the past. The trio takes on Grease Lightning, with Karina transforming into an exotic Sandy. Bruno thinks that mirroring a pro is a huge risk that paid off. And Len appears relieved that Apolo actually performed the dance he was assigned.

Kirstie introduces us to her trio with the astute observation that Tristan and Max are both the same height and both hot. One thing is certain: only Kirstie could get Maks to wear huge fuzzy angel wings. The basic concept is that Tristan and Maks are dark angels trying to suck Kirstie into the world of evil. But of course, Kirstie emerges victorious! But their paso is not a victory in the judges’ eyes, for all three agree that the dance lacked refinement.

It’s kinda hard to pay attention to Kelly’s dancing because shirtless Val and Louis make for such excellent eye candy. I’m expecting harsh criticism from Len when he tells Kelly she has the “F factor.” After all, F is an awful grade! But Len explains that it was fun and flamboyant, hence the F factor. The result is a triple 9.5 from the judges!

The sensuality continues with a hot performance from Gilles, Peta and Chelsie Hightower. Gilles is an amazing dancer, but he’s especially impressive while performing the salsa.  Unfortunately, he does lose timing on occasion, as Bruno and Carrie Ann are quick to point out. Len loves the dance because nothing was camouflaged. But is he talking about Gilles’ dancing or his partners’ skimpy costumes? Hard to say.

Emmitt Smith, Kym Johnson and Cheryl Burke join forces for a hot dance to Mr. Saxobeat. It’s clear he’s trying for sexy, but it occasionally comes off as…awkward. The judges don’t agree with my assessment though. Carrie Ann emulates Mary Murphy when she talks about salsa and jalapenos and I half expect her to start screeching about the hot tamale train. Thank goodness that she spares us that pain. Emmitt earns what is, in my opinion, a somewhat undeserved score of 30.

I’ve never thought of Adele and paso doble going together, but Melissa Rycroft has forever linked Rummor Has It with strong and sensuous dancing. My only problem with the dance? Melissa’s awkward vocalizations. Vocals in a dance are tough to pull off and these seemed quite forced. The rest of the dance is great though, which is why Len tells Melissa that she’s his favorite this season.

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Photos courtesy: ABC

 

Topics: ABC Reality TV Shows, Dancing With the Stars |

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