November 22, 2012 09:00 AM by Megan Wilson
Rihanna’s 777 tour has put her press entourage through their paces. Finally, over the weekend, the paps had a major group meltdown! the tag-a-longs have created an incredible social media buzz throughout the tour by tweeting and blogging about touring with Rihanna, but the flight from Berlin to London proved to be too much for the journalists to handle! They tweeted from the plane play-by-play, finally ending with drinking, streaking down the aisles, and rowdy chants for an appearance from the American Idol guest star herself.
During the beginning of the tour, the press was welcomed aboard with gifts of diamonds, champagne, and one-on-one time with Rihanna. However, once she had them on the hook (Or locked in a plane), Rihanna seemed to just evaporate. The passengers are complaining of near-starvation, an overabundance of alcohol, and not enough of Rihanna to write about. Here are some excerpts from the nosedive:
“Maud Deitch: I tried to get people on Twitter to place bets about when they think we’ll actually take off for London, but nobody’s biting. I think when we have to build our own feudal society from the rubble of the plane after the revolution, bookie is a pretty decent position to be in. I, personally, think we’ll leave at 4:45 AM, which is exactly 4 hours and 45 minutes from the time that the original itinerary said we would arrive in London.”
“MHKC: Normally, I’d agree with you but the delays have gotten longer and judging from the previously established trajectory we’ll be leaving at 11:00AM. I’m also beginning to think she’s a figment of my imagination. This is SUCH a good argument for holograms. As in, I wish we were all holograms.”
“MD: OH MY GOD THEY’RE COMING AROUND WITH SOMETHING WRAPPED IN FOIL I THINK IT’S SAUSAGE [NOPE, MORE SANDWICHES] THAT MEANS WE’RE NEVER GETTING OFF THIS PLANE. Also it now smells like a movie theater concession stand on the Rihanna plane and the people next to us just rolled up to their seats with tumblers filled with whiskey and then one of them promptly spilled it into his seat back pocket. Maybe Rihanna was buying lingerie for all of US in Paris while we were foraging for delicious, clearly-labeled, microwavable, chicken fajita burritos and instead getting ricotta cheese jammed into a tomato-flavored crepe. HAR HAR HAR.”
“MHKC: God, I wish some of us WOULD eat something. I mean, for all the ribbing and good-natured complaining and the joshing about that one Australian guy with the harmonica that we’re cheerfully plotting to behead, some of us are the problem. As frequently as they don’t feed us, they keep plying us with alcohol. Some of us may have been on a tear since yesterday. And it’s been another all-nighter. SOME OF US DON’T HAVE INSIDE VOICES. #ISITYOU. #PRETTYSUREITSYOU. I have had ear plugs in consistently for the last two days.”
“MD: OK, so I think it’s worth noting that I, a person who cries ALL THE TIME, have only cried once this whole week and it was yesterday on the bus from the airport in Paris. I tried to hide it but whatever no shame it was THE WACKEST bus ride of my life. I know I’m here to work and not to, you know, live, but it took 11 hours to take a 2 hour flight. Which meant that rather than sitting down for a normal meal like normal people and having a civilized glass of wine FOR MY FIRST TIME IN PARIS, we were SHOVELING 18 kinds of lox into our maws in the 20 minutes we had between showering and getting ON THE BUS AGAIN. I HATE THE BUS.”
“MHKC: So yeah. The Trianon, where the Paris event was held was pretty cute. It’s running together with the spot in Sweden a little bit but her outfits are anchoring each day as discrete experiences. She was wearing thigh-high boots and a satin tee and is DEFINITELY the hottest person I have seen in real life. I know that’s the crux of the problem, that we’re not getting enough access, but she really is still a crazy impressive specimen of freakshow goodlookingness. Even with the technical difficulties and the truncated schedule, Paris wasn’t bad. Wow. We’re all just yelling for different things now (chocolate/less AC) as if this airplane has developed sentience and voice-activated wish-fulfillment to compensate for our taxing our lives have become. Things are rowdy as hell.”
“MHKC: HOLY CRAP. The Australian with the harmonica is STREAKING ON THE PLANE as we scream “save our jobs” and “access” and “interviews” and “just one headline” at the abject lack of Rihanna time. #FREETHERIHANNA150 #OCCUPYRIHANNAPLANE #WHEREHAVEYOUBEENALLTHISFLIGHT #AREYOUHIDINGFROMUS”
“MHKC: Awwww. This is so sad but the kids in the Rihanna Navy are singing Happy Birthday. Some poor bastard is having a birthday across god knows what time zone line in this yelly, freezing plane that still shows that one Delta safety video that’s apparently been taken out of rotation everywhere else in the world that features that ginger Cylon with restelyne trout mouth and aggro eyebrows and that wagging finger that causes nightmares. It is so, so cold. I think we’ve died again. With meat chip breath. This is sad for our families.”
And of course the whole streaking incedent was recorded, of course!
We can’t help but wonder what Rihanna was thinking jamming 150 journalists into a plane and not showing! What do you think?
Want more? Follow our tweets on Twitter and like us on Facebook! Click here for more information about American Idol. For other great reality TV news, please feel free to check out SirLinksALot: American Idol.
Photo Credit: MTV