December 04, 2012 04:00 PM by Donna W. Martin
We all have fond childhood memories of snuggling up with our parents during the holidays to hear the story, “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” But The Voice judge, Blake Shelton gave the Christmas classic an all-new meaning when he read it to a group of kids during his “Not So Family Christmas” special.
Blake said he was fortunate to have gone to some great schools, had some great teachers, and thought this year that it would be nice to give something back. So he decided to go to a school and read “Twas the Night Before Christmas” to a class of young children.
Blake started reading the story and all was going well until he got to the part, “not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.” A little girl raised her hand and Blake said, “I didn’t think we were doing questions. I was just going to read.”
The teacher assured him questions are good, “we’ve got a lot of hungry minds, and we want to feed them.”
So the little girl asked, “How come the mice aren’t stirring?”
Blake said, “I don’t know, they just aren’t.”
“But why,” the little girl pressed.
“You know what, the cat took care of them,” Blake said. Then he added a nicer explanation, “They’re on vacation… in Cancun.”
Later, another child asked, “Who’s St. Nicolas?”
“That’s Santa Claus,” Blake told him.
“But why does he change his name?” The boy asked.
“Well he uses a different name when he does weird stuff,” Blake explained, “He goes into people’s houses while they’re sleeping; that’s pretty weird, don’t you think.”
As the story goes on and the kids ask more questions, Blake becomes visibly irritated and short. He even asked the teacher “Isn’t there anything you can do.”
When asked what a sugarplum was and how it could dance, Blake said it was candy with legs made by an evil scientist who makes monsters.
But the grand finale comes when a little boy asked, “Why are they taking naps at night? Naps are for daytime.”
“Oh my God,” Blake said, “You know what, they don’t even know what time it is.” He explains in a hateful voice, “Mama and papa have been partying for three days straight. That’s why they’ve got to settle their brain. There’s pizza boxes in the living room stacked up, the sink is full of dirty dishes. The oldest sugarplum kid is taking care of the little kids but she’s not telling anybody. You know why? Because she knows that Child Services will come and take the kids away. And even though she knows that mama and papa are all messed up and high all the time, she knows that deep down inside, they still love them. That’s why they are taking a nap in the middle of the night.”
Meanwhile, the kids cuddled in fear and dared not ask any more questions as Blake finished the
messed up story Christmas classic. What a story, hilarious and emotionally damaging all in one foul swoop! Now, that’s what holiday memories are made of.
To see more, watch Blake’s “Not So Family Christmas” special featured below.
What did you think of Blake’s Christmas special? And what about his rendition of Twas the night Before Christmas? Post a comment and let us know.
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Photo Credit: NBC