January 07, 2013 04:58 PM by Stephanie Gustafson
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is back and crazier than ever! To kick off 2013, we’re actually looking back at 2012 and three of Honey Boo Boo’s favorite holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. The first special follows the spooky shenanigans that take place at each Thompson family Halloween. And, surprise, surprise, it’s not too difficult to scare certain members of Alana’s family.
Halloween is the perfect holiday for the Thompson household, seeing as one of the family members has been christened “Pumpkin.” According to Mama June, the only real way to hold a Halloween bash is to go all out with pranks galore. Or, at least, that’s how they do it in McIntyre. But given the name of June’s daughter, I’m guessing that pumpkin smashing will not be involved.
Other than pranks, Halloween candy stands out as the most popular aspect of the holiday. No surprises there. Chickadee exclaims that she LOVES loading up on sugar, while the sweet tooth’s namesake Sugar Bear gets a slap on the leg from June for being aggravating. He’s been hanging out at home since his leg problems began and at this point, is beginning to drive poor June nuts. She already has a few too many hyper children on her hands.
After decorating the yard for the big holiday (or, as Alana puts it, everyone else watching Honey Boo Boo slave away with decorations), the family heads to a redneck pumpkin patch. In addition to the usual pumpkins, the patch also includes metal cows pulled by tractors. Everyone appears to be having a blast, but gosh, all that dust flying around would make this a horrendous place for an asthmatic. Once they’ve gotten nice and dirty, the kids head to the patch to find a pumpkin shaped like Mama June. The main requirement: the pumpkin must look “wopsided.” June does not appreciate having such terminology applied to her body shape and tells the girls that she is, in fact, curvy. The trip to the patch ends with a game of dodge ball in the hayfield, and of course, June Shannon getting hit in the face with the ball.
Mama June isn’t sure if she really wants to dress up for Halloween, but she is feeling ready for a change. She decides that a new hair color is the way to go, and, thrifty gal that she is, decides to let her daughters do the honors. Umm, bad idea. Amazingly, the hair comes out okay…very redneck bleached blonde, but hey, redneck is the ideal! Sugar Bear is a huge fan, romantically stating that Mama June’s blonde hair really perks up his loins. Aww, how sweet.
Now that June has a new hairdo, it’s time to give the pumpkins makeovers as well! There’s plenty of subtitles at this point, translating what I have officially labeled “Boo Boo Talk.” The short Thompson attention span is, as usual, limited, which is why the dedicated pumpkin carvers quickly move on to throwing pumpkin guts at one another (clarification for the violently inclined: no, not Pumpkin’s guts — they’re not cannibals!). Uncle Poodle joins in the craziness by putting the wop-sided June pumpkin on his head and, predictably, getting stuck. After a lot of flailing around, he frees himself with a hammer.
June confession time: Honey Boo Boo’s mom is terrified of mayonnaise! She can eat egg salad and other foods made with mayo, but watching the preparation of these delicacies is a whole ‘nother matter. The kids decide it’s time for Mama June to face her fears, so they plop three jars’ worth of mayo in a huge bowl. Alana tries to restrain herself but ultimately gives in and starts consuming massive amounts of mayonnaise.
With the lights out and a flashlight in tow, the family gathers in the dark for a spooky story about the…fart ghost. And to make the concept even more terrifying, said fart ghost emits not gas, but mayonnaise. Of course, June has already been frightened to death by her own daughter lapping up mayo like a cat at a milk dish, so with the actual condiment absent during the story, she’s not too disturbed.
Following a trip to Cranberry Farms (including disastrous attempts at navigating a corn maze and surviving the zip line), the Thompson family makes a pit stop at a costume store. Alana really wants to be blue-haired bacon, but unfortunately, that costume does not exist. Sugar Bear jokes that baby Kaitlyn should be a hitchhiker because of her third thumb.
It’s not possible to make it through a Halloween episode without some sort of injury, so it’s only fitting that Pumpkin gets hit in the eye with a set of keys. What a bummer — on her holiday, of all things. Oh well, there’s always Thanksgiving. Alana graciously offers to trick-or-treat for Pumpkin, but we all know she’s in it for the extra candy.
With Pumpkin out of the running the costume lineup is as follows: Sugar Bear is a bear carrying sugar (oh so clever), Honey Boo Boo is a goth vampire, Chickadee and Chubbs are ketchup and mustard, Kaitlyn is a hot dog and Mama June is…Marilyn Monroe! The trick-or-treating expedition takes place near the Milledgeville Country Club, where June claims that her family will have access to “rich people candy.” Unfortunately, the tactic also leads to Alana getting stuck with a package of dental floss. Not cool!
Stay tuned for a huge food fest — the next special episode will feature Thanksgiving!
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Photo Credit: TLC