January 14, 2013 12:55 AM by Stephanie Gustafson
Last week, the Thompson family got a little crazy with pumpkin guts and farting ghost stories during the first of several Here Comes Honey Boo Boo holiday specials. Now, it’s time for Alana and her family to count their blessings and stuff their faces, because that’s what Thanksgiving is all about!
If you saw last week’s episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, you already know about the little mishap that occurred with Sugar Bear’s keys. As June explains it, Pumpkin failed to catch her dad’s keys with her hand and instead, “she caught them with her eye.” One detached retina later, it’s time for Pumpkin to go home. She seems like she’d rather stay at the hospital, and given the prospect of a Thompson family Thanksgiving, I don’t blame her.
We’ve already learned that, despite how much everyone underestimates her, June Shannon is capable of making some pretty wise financial decisions. After all, she’s not touching a cent of the earnings from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo – it’s all going into trust funds for her daughters. This means that Mama June needs to continue her current frugal lifestyle, something that can be a bit difficult when you’re trying to prepare for a grandiose Thanksgiving dinner. The other problem with this setup is that June’s not the greatest cook in the world. The rest of the family members groan when they hear of her plans to put together a big Thanksgiving meal.
Mama’s second bad idea of the episode involves taking Alana to a farm to get her very own turkey. I’m just hoping that she’s not planning to use it in some perverse demonstration of Thanksgiving preparation. Because we all know that would be a disaster. But the real disaster occurs when June bangs on a pot with a metal spoon in order to wake everyone up at the crack of dawn. Honey Boo Boo whines endlessly about her “beauty sleep” before finally consenting to go with her mom to get a turkey. Except she doesn’t actually get a turkey — instead, the two return home with a pet chicken. Alana decides to name her new chicken Nugget after one of her favorite foods: chicken nuggets.
Remember when the family bonded over finding a June-shaped pumpkin on last week’s episode? Well, they’re busy harassing poor June once again. This time, they decide to make a Mama June scarecrow, complete with “Blonde wig, big head, vajiggle jaggle, forklift foot.” June doesn’t think the scarecrow looks at all like her, but the kids insist that it’s a dead ringer for their mother. But good ‘ol Sugar Bear smooths things over by telling his gal that her scarecrow looks beautiful.
Time to prepare the Thanksgiving feast! Mama June has a 16-pound turkey and she’s not sure what to do with it. She concludes that this is another situation that calls for sugar and butter — the two ingredients that always make ill-conceived meals taste better. Honey Boo Boo names the turkey Billy Bob before slathering her new bird friend (Billy Bob, not Nugget) in butter. June sneezes on Billy Bob several times (gross!) and tells her daughter that this is a good luck charm. Good luck for what? Catching the flu?
The rest of the dinner preparation goes smoothly, with June adding massive amounts of sugar to the cranberries. She doesn’t have to prepare the collard greens, having gotten rid of them by holding an eating contest for her daughters. This leaves setting the table, a job that goes to June’s daughters. They discover that Nugget has left, well, a little brown nugget on the table. Animal scat? No problem, just turn the tablecloth over. The ick factor continues during the big meal, as Alana scoops up cranberry sauce with her hands and lets out a huge fart. Nobody is overly disgusted by June’s Thanksgiving recipes, but then again, they don’t seem too bothered by Alana’s atrocious table-side manners. So who knows how it really tastes.
Next up: a Honey Boo Boo Christmas special! If you’re already missing the holiday season, you’ll definitely want to check out next week’s special episode!
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Photo Credit: TLC