March 06, 2013 12:02 AM by Stephanie Gustafson
Tonight on Dance Moms, the mothers have decided that Abby’s constant anxiety stems not so much from the presence of bad dancers…but more from issues in her love life! And if there’s any way to solve that problem, it’s to send Abby to a speed dating event. This is not likely to end well.
The end of last week’s episode was surprisingly cheery for, while Abby did have to deal with the death of her lil’ doggy Broadway Baby, she also received a touching tribute from her dancers, not to mention an award-winning performance. But this is not the time to get complacent, for angry Abby is back and more terrifying than ever.
Cue the horror movie music…it’s time for the PYRAMID. And this week, Paige, Kendall and Brooke are all on the bottom. Nia and Mackenzie share the middle row and Maddie is once again on top. Chloe, on the other hand, has no spot on the pyramid for now — she’s still on probation. She does, however, receive plenty of chiding from Abby for not sticking with the choreography.
This week, Maddie and Mackenzie both get solos, and seeing as the two win at nearly every competition, it’s a rather expected solo lineup. Nia and Kendall will join up for a duet, which has Holly nervous. After all, Nia’s last duet didn’t go so well, although, as I recall, Abby put most of the blame for that on Paige. There’ also a group number featuring…drumroll please…a boy!! Maddie is particularly excited that a male will be joining the ranks of the ALDC this week. Based on what I’ve seen from several Tumblr pages, Maddie and Nick (the new male teammate) are best buds.
What has now been termed the “boy dance” is actually a whole lot like the plot of Les Miserables. You know, a dying mom asks some dude to take care of her poor daughter and the rest of the world ends up falling for the guy. The whole shebang. The name of the dance is “Your Dream Will Be My Dream.” It seems like one with a lot of potential, mainly because the girls all want to work hard to impress Nick.
While watching all the girls fawn over Nick, the moms wonder if what Abby really needs is a little love in her life. Never mind the fact that Abby’s been prancing around town and posing for pictures with her hand on the butt of a very attractive guy. The moms figure that, if they can find Abby a man, she’ll spend less time griping about their daughters. Not a bad theory, except that if (or when) things don’t go so well with the new boy toy, their daughters will likely see an even worse Abby.
The moms decide to surprise Abby with a limo to a fancy speed dating event, but it doesn’t really seem like much of a surprise. After all, Abby’s actually dressed in normal clothing, as opposed to the usual imitation of Sue Sylvester’s infamous track suit. But Abby won’t be making this big trip alone — the moms join in as some sort of perverse group of chaperones. That is, except Christi. Abby is mad about Christi and Chloe being late to practice and decides to punish her but leaving her behind.
I would have expected Abby to be a bit more annoyed about this whole speed dating thing, but either because she actually likes the idea or she’s just had too much alcohol in the limo, she seems to be willing enough to go along with it. Although, we find out that what she likes about it is not so much the men themselves, but the ability she has to reject them. I guess Abby just likes auditioning people, be they dancers or potential lovers.
Despite her spending time at the speed dating event, Abby insists that she really misses her mystery man out in Cali. The moms think this guy is gay, which is why he’s unwilling to trek across the country to visit his supposed lady love. The girls also find Abby’s little speech amusing, with one anonymous dancer exclaiming, “I don’t blame him,” when Abby complains about her man not wanting to visit her.
Competition time! Nia’s not feeling so hot, but Holly tries to downplay it. Jill, on the other hand, is milking the situation. When Abby suggests that Maddie step in for Nia’s part, Jill decides that a solo for her little princess would be a much better idea. Nia, on the other hand, still really wants to perform, and while she appreciates Jill, uh, concern, she insists on dancing with Kendall.
Mackenzie does a great job with her solo, but needs to work a bit on stage presence. She’s still relying too much on the cutesy thing, and while that might work for a little while longer, the judges will be less and less cool with it the older Mackenzie gets. Mac’s big sis also does a great job with her solo, but really, is that in any way a surprise? What is a surprise is that the duet goes off without a hitch, which Jill attributes to all the practice time Kendall has had without Nia getting in the way.
The group routine is lovely and elicits plenty of oohs and ahs from the audience. But it’s still not good enough! Especially when we learn that the group dance only took 2nd place, making the girls, in Abby’s mind, the biggest losers on stage. The 2nd place atrocities continue, with both Mackenzie and Maddie failing to win their solo categories. The duet comes in 5th, which has Abby even more annoyed.
The post-awards scene isn’t pretty, with Abby telling the girls that it’s time they were knocked down a peg. And that they need tough love, because lord knows they don’t get enough of that at the ALDC.
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