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Kardashian Christmas Card: The Signs And Symbols You May Have Missed

December 04, 2013 05:30 PM by Suzy Kerr

The stars of Keeping Up With the Kardashians unveiled their much anticipated holiday card earlier this week, and the word that probably sums it up the best is “Huh?”. The card is a mash-up of themes and symbols, and many folks have been speculating on what it could all possibly mean. For instance, where are the missing family members? Why does Kylie look like she’s preparing to board an alien spacecraft? And what the hell is up with all the naked women in the background? Answers to these questions are scarce, unfortunately, but here’s a breakdown of some things in the photo you may not notice at first glance…

The Illuminati symbol is tucked in behind some tattooed naked people. Once you get past the boobies, you’ll notice the pyramid with the all-seeing eye. This symbol represents the Illuminati, which is an ancient and secretive society that supposedly controls world events. Kanye West has been rumored to be part of this clandestine group, but he denies any affiliation.Yeezy in a secret, world-dominating group is pretty hilarious as it is, but I’m pretty sure his big mouth would’ve gotten him kicked out long ago.

The floor is littered with tabloids, all featuring headlines about the Kardashians and Jenners. But hey look! Right there on the magazine covers are Kanye, Lamar, and….Kris Humphries? Wow, I was going to say that it looks like the missing family members were in attendance (kinda) after all, but Kris is most definitely not a part of the family, so yeahhhhhhh. Who knows?

You may have noticed that Bruce is encased in a glass tube, which is freaking weird and which I do have a theory about and I’ll get to it in a moment, but did you catch all his Olympian stuff? Our favorite reality dad was a gold medalist in the 1976 Olympics, and his medals, photos and even his Wheaties box are on display in the card…if you look closely enough. As for the glass tube thing, I think it’s a clear symbol of Kris’ power over him. He’s pushing against the glass, unable to get out, while Kris perches nearby on her pedestal, draped in shiny things and grinning like a madwoman.

Kim’s boobs. If you have eyes, you probably already noticed the girls, thanks to the strategic cut-out on her dress that shows off her ample cleavage. But did you notice the arrows pointing to them? Look closely at the pink staircase behind her, and you’ll see arrows that basically scream out, “Look! Kim’s boobs!” They have been a real money-maker for the family, after all.

So what about you? Anything else stick out in your mind about the Kardashian-Jenner holiday card? Here’s hoping the photo shoot was filmed for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, because then we might get some answers to the universal question surrounding this card: What the F were they thinking?

Tell us what YOU think in the comments!

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Photo Credit: E!

Topics: E! Reality TV Shows, Keeping Up With The Kardashians |

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